Molly - Finding Solace in Cannabis for Misophonia
Transcript
Adeel [0:01]: Welcome to the Misophonia Podcast. This is Season 6, Episode 22. My name's Adeel Ahmad, and I have Misophonia. This week I'm talking to Molly, who is recently working at a cannabis company in Las Vegas. We talk about the effects of cannabis products, edibles, gummies, on her misophonia. We talk about tips from therapists. her comorbid OCD diagnosis, a traumatic childhood, having a hard time in school with miso, and how she opened up just recently to her parents about misophonia and how that went. As always, let me know what you think. You can reach me at helloatmisophoniapodcast.com or go to Instagram or Facebook at Misophonia Podcast. And if you haven't already, you can leave a quick rating. Wherever you listen to this show, it helps us go up in the algorithms and reach more listeners and misophones. Thanks for the incredible ongoing support of all of our Patreon supporters. If you feel like also contributing, you can read all about the different levels at patreon.com slash misophonia podcast. All right, now let's get to my conversation with Molly. Molly, welcome to the podcast.
Molly [1:11]: Thank you.
Adeel [1:13]: So you've heard some episodes. Do you want to just kind of tell us roughly around where you're located?
Molly [1:18]: Yeah, I actually live in Las Vegas.
Adeel [1:21]: Ah, okay. Interesting. A lot of... A lot of sounds, especially, I guess, in the downtown strip, maybe not so much in the suburbs.
Molly [1:28]: Sounds everywhere.
Adeel [1:30]: Yeah. So are you in the hospitality industry there?
Molly [1:35]: So I'm actually the treasurer for a cannabis company. We recently got acquired on October 4th. So I'm only 10 days into the new company. So I'm kind of in limbo right now. I will be exiting that new company in the next few weeks. So I will be on the job market like most people in the next few weeks.
Adeel [2:00]: Gotcha. Okay. Okay. And how are you leaving? Because you walked in there and it was like crazy loud and you're like, I can't do this. Or was it other reasons?
Molly [2:12]: No, it's they're eliminating my role. But I actually got a payout from the last company. So I'm in a, decent place financially but it's just the frustration of looking for a new job yeah yeah of course of course okay um yeah so and were you working from home kind of um yeah i it's actually funny because i technically when i started this job and i had been there about four years um i wasn't allowed to work from home So that obviously is a huge deal to somebody that has misophonia. And especially in my office, because we actually have a dispensary right below my office. So the music and the pounding of the music is almost... intolerable at times you know i have the noise cancelling headphones the apple i the airpods um which are fantastic but they're i mean it's definitely a triggering environment and um the last like few months when we knew this transaction was happening and wrapping up i just kind of did my own thing and I started working from home just to be at peace.
Adeel [3:30]: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Low frequencies are tough to cancel out. So, um, and, uh, well, I mean, speaking of, uh, we'll go back into your history and maybe loop it back here, but, um, Any thoughts on cannabis products and misophonia? I'm sure most people are wondering.
Molly [3:49]: That's a great question. Yeah, I actually, so I am like an edible connoisseur. So I have a million different types of edibles. And obviously with flower edibles or any cannabis product, it's like it's catered to you personally. It's what you prefer, what you like. And for me, I actually have some wild gummies. They're the pear flavor that they help my misophonia. So I stock up on those because I feel like they make me less triggered um and kind of cancel out any background so like those are my go-to edibles but again everybody's different so sometimes they help and sometimes they can backfire and i'm like oh my god i hear everything right now um so it's kind of like trial and error um but definitely a good thing to recommend to somebody to try yeah and did you these particular wild pair ones did you
Adeel [4:52]: Was there something about them that made you want to try them for misophonia? Or was it really just kind of like shot in the dark?
Molly [4:58]: No, I just ate one one day. And I feel like my husband was like, oh, did you hear that tonight or whatever? And I was like, no, I didn't hear that at all. And then it kind of like made me excited. And then I kept trying those. triggering situations i guess when when i'm going out to dinner or when i'm gonna be around people who i know are gonna trigger me um so i kind of use those as a crutch um But I always have them in my purse in case. But those, to me, I found have helped my misophonia the most.
Adeel [5:33]: Yeah. Did you tell anybody at work that you had misophonia?
Molly [5:36]: You know, I have told a handful of people, but it's really I only tell people when it feels like an organic moment. And. I have told, I would say like one or two of my coworkers, but it's like, I say, Oh, I have misophonia. I, I can't like eat lunch with you or whatever. And most people just, it goes in one ear and off the other. Like they don't really ask me questions about it. So I think. Some people know I have it, but I really don't know I have it. Like, they don't really understand it.
Adeel [6:09]: They don't care. Exactly.
Molly [6:12]: Exactly. They're just, like I said, in one ear and out the other.
Adeel [6:15]: They don't see the images that go in our heads. Right.
Molly [6:19]: Exactly. I feel like it's really hard to understand it unless you have it.
Adeel [6:23]: Yeah, exactly. And obviously, it sounds like your husband knows that you have it.
Molly [6:31]: Yes, he is absolutely amazing. My biggest support that I've ever had.
Adeel [6:40]: Yeah. Did he know from the beginning? Well, maybe, when did you find out that it had a name and all that stuff, you know?
Molly [6:47]: I feel like pretty, we've been together for about, God, probably like close to like 13, 14 years. Probably the last two, 10 years it's become problematic where he was like you need to seek help like this is crazy to to feel this way and to to be this on edge all the time um so actually he kind of lit a fire in me to get help and i saw an audiologist probably about 10 years ago and he lived in arizona dr alan rohe And like Patrick went with me to like all of my appointments and things like that. But I kind of fell off. It really wasn't a it wasn't helping me because he did a lot of. Re reframing and things like that, that for me just didn't work for me.
Adeel [7:51]: So reframing like it sounds like kind of like a CBT, almost like a therapist kind of thing. Yeah.
Molly [7:57]: And he did CBT with me as well. But I just wasn't getting much out of it. And I was mentally exhausted. So I feel like having misophonia already makes you mentally exhausted. But like the reframing and things like that, it's. So an example of that would be if I don't like somebody popping gum, well, I'm going to reframe it to I'm going to pretend that people are walking on sticks and that that's the sound and it's not gum. But it's like you have to constantly repeat that in your head. And again, it's just it was really exhausting. And I tried it for a while and I was like, this isn't a solution for me. Like, I'm more exhausted. and I don't feel like I'm getting better.
Adeel [8:45]: Yeah. That's quite a, I mean, to kind of like, um, having to, you know, overcome your rational mind knows that it's not true. So it seems to be a lot of, uh, a lot of effort to, yeah. Otherwise. um did you move on to any cons any other kinds of uh yeah so the last probably year maybe i've been seeing sarah bidler um from authentic living i believe you might know her you know what uh today i just um i just posted her episode coincidentally i have not heard it i'm very excited to listen to it yeah just a few hours ago so october 14th today for uh for folks listening but uh yeah it's uh Yeah, she's actually local to me here in Minnesota. So we sometimes get together to talk about Miss Phonia.
Molly [9:37]: I definitely didn't know that, but I have been seeing her for about the last year. And I feel like it's comforting to talk to somebody that has it. So that right there just helps me tremendously. And I feel like I talk to her as if she's a therapist for me and others. areas of my life as well so um she has definitely taught me that having a more relaxed body and a more relaxed mind is going to help the misophonia at the end of the day and so for me that's kind of my biggest um what i what i try to keep in mind all the time is to have a calm body and a calm mind as much as i can and i really feel like that impacts my misophonia yeah she and others do a lot of work on uh yeah the body the nervous system yeah exactly i guess um and uh
Adeel [10:36]: Yeah, that's interesting. I guess it feels like it's kind of getting closer to the root cause as opposed to some of the maybe more surface therapies that are out there. Yeah, obviously like sleep, exercise, breathing, but also just being aware of your nervous system and keeping it in a relaxed state.
Molly [10:59]: Yeah, and one of the other big things that she has taught me too is is being around people i feel safe around and that has impacted me a great deal because it's like if i'm not around people that know i have it or i don't feel comfortable sharing with i'm even more on edge so it it i feel like that is probably the the biggest impact is is being around people i feel safe around
Adeel [11:26]: Yeah, and that's something I talk about, and she talks about it and it comes up a lot on the podcast. We also had, yeah, there's that, but I think the more I think about it, often it gets traced back to a childhood where we were walking on eggshells at some point. Do you, is this kind of like an experience that maybe you relate to as well? Like it's in the past, having to be careful of somebody.
Molly [11:59]: for me, I had an extremely traumatic childhood. Um, but there is nothing. Cause Sarah has talked to me about this too. And, and she, she really believes that school of thought, but I can't pinpoint like a particular thing that, that kind of like triggered me when I was young. Um, but like I said, I, I had a very traumatic childhood, so it could have coincided with that, the development of the misophonia. Um, But I also have OCD. I have all of the other things that typically go along with somebody with misophonia. Like I have, I've had OCD since I was a child. So I remember lining up my clothes, lining up my hair ties, my stuffed animals, like all of that good stuff. And this is around the same time that I first had my first misophonia memory.
Adeel [12:56]: Yeah, so was it typical around the junior high, middle school kind of age?
Molly [13:01]: Yeah, I was younger, I feel like. I feel like I was, I just, my very first memory was my dad eating, you know, that yellow classic Lay's bag of chips. And it was like, yeah, it's like, that is like so drilled in my head. Those are so good, by the way.
Adeel [13:21]: Halloween's coming up, so it's all over the grocery stores. But yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. So that crunching, I just said the word, but hopefully nobody gets triggered. But yeah, the sound of that particular food.
Molly [13:35]: And it's weird because I also have developed misokinesia in my older age. But when I look back, and it's almost worse than my misophonia right now, because I can be driving and see somebody chewing gum across the stoplight from me, and I'm already in that state. triggering level of of disaster um but when i was young my sister i remember she used to fidget with like hangers and i remember it used to make me so mad and i would always like smack them out of her hand and i'd be like stop doing that and i never associated the two at all and it's like now that i'm older i'm like i feel like that was probably part of my misophonia just the movement
Adeel [14:22]: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Visuals, touch, even smell sometimes. I feel like misophonia is kind of like a canary in the coal mine for just more general, your brain warning you of some phantom danger. And sound just happens to be kind of a, I've said this before, my theory is that sound is kind of like the hardest thing to avoid because you can kind of close your eyes and completely block something out. Right. But closing your ears, like you can't always, you know, block everything out unless you leave the room. Exactly. And so I think like visuals could be just this kind of like anticipatory thing. Like your brain is telling you, oh, you might, you know, there might be some danger coming up.
Molly [15:07]: Yeah.
Adeel [15:09]: Anyways, how did you react to kind of your family members, like your dad and your sister?
Molly [15:15]: Oh, I mean, just complete rage. Complete rage.
Adeel [15:19]: What did they do?
Molly [15:20]: They just thought I was weird, you know, and I feel like that's a typical reaction from a parent that doesn't really understand. And it's it's funny because even like in my adult years, they just thought I was a weirdo. And and for me, it's like. didn't take that personally but i knew that i like everybody says oh i feel crazy i don't feel crazy at all it's like this these feelings are very valid to me they're very real um so they don't make me feel crazy it's just i don't know how to not have them and that sucks
Adeel [16:00]: Right, right. No, you're right. We feel like, yeah, I don't really know how to describe it. You can't really describe it.
Molly [16:08]: No, you can't describe it to somebody that doesn't have it because it just doesn't resonate.
Adeel [16:15]: Did it start to cause, I don't know, rifts in your family as you were growing up? Like people would avoid you or you would avoid them?
Molly [16:23]: No, but I do feel like it made me... I was always in a bad mood. I was always, I wouldn't say negative, but I just, a good description, easily irritated. I was never really a joy to be around because I would always find a trigger somewhere. And I still feel that now, but now I'm just learning how to cope with it.
Adeel [16:57]: What about with your friends and at school?
Molly [17:00]: So the school was extremely hard. Um, and I know I've listened to some of your other podcasts where like younger people get like accommodations for test taking and things like that. And I think that is so amazing. That is so awesome. I am so jealous that I didn't have that.
Adeel [17:17]: Those are people under 20.
Molly [17:22]: I certainly remember test taking and shoving a finger in my ear. And just trying to avoid any like pencil ticking, anything like that. Like for me, gum is hands down my biggest trigger. But just being in a quiet room, like your misophonic brain finds things. And so I just remember physically plugging my ears when I'm taking tests and things like that. When I was in college, I had a professor that Um, he always had his hand in his pocket and he always had change when he would do that. And I'm like, Oh my Lord, help me.
Adeel [18:05]: Yeah. Yeah. Or people in dorms, like, you know, you know, just waving their keys around.
Molly [18:11]: Oh yeah. It's, it's amazing that I survived that, but I also feel like your triggers get worse as you get older. Um, So I certainly had triggers when I was young, but I feel like I have way more now.
Adeel [18:30]: Yeah. And is it because, I was thinking about this, yeah, because pretty much everyone says that, and I totally agree. I'm just wondering if it's because we're, you know, we just experience more and we hear more types of sounds?
Molly [18:43]: Yeah. And we're aware that we have this.
Adeel [18:46]: Yeah, that's the other thing. Yeah, yeah. that's that delicate balance uh that it's kind of a double-edged sword knowing you have it you can kind of maybe take some steps but then there's the question of well is this kind of making things worse for me and i'm sure people who don't have it are like oh you're just talking about all the time and that's why you have it but uh um anyways how about um You said it didn't cause so much rift, but you were always angry. Did you start to feel, on top of that anger, did you start to feel maybe some of that shame and guilt that we hear about a lot?
Molly [19:23]: You know, I never really experienced that.
Adeel [19:27]: Yeah, well, it seems like you were like, oh, I don't feel crazy, so you're just kind of living it.
Molly [19:32]: Yeah, it's weird. It's like I don't feel like a lot of people I know feel. But I am very isolated, that's for sure. I absolutely love being alone. So I feel like that makes me a little bit different. I'm like, I could live alone all day, every day, and I would be just fine.
Adeel [19:52]: Yeah, I was like, social distancing, that is my mantra. Yes, 100%. uh finally the word for what i want uh yeah um okay yeah no that's that's yeah that's that's interesting yeah there is a lot of some of that shame and guilt honestly come it depends on the reactions that we that we got sure people early on um and was there any like bullying or anything in school did you tell anybody while you were in school no i never told anybody um until
Molly [20:25]: probably like 10 years ago when I actually realized that I had something like, I was like, Oh, this is, this is a real thing. Um, I was like, Oh, I definitely have this. Um, and I feel like that's around the time and maybe even Patrick showed me something, but I'm like, and where he was like, you, you got to see help. Like this is crazy, not crazy, but just crazy the way you're feeling every day. And, and feeling more so depressed and sad and not wanting to do things, being isolated, really. I'm very careful of who I spend my time with now.
Adeel [20:59]: Right, right. Yeah, and how does your family, at some point, I'm sure your family now also knows that it has a name. Did that kind of change their, I don't know, thinking?
Molly [21:13]: So my sister is a psychologist, so... She is a beautiful support system for me. So when I visit her, and she has a young daughter, and I love going there because if her daughter's chewing with her mouth open, she's like, Sabi, chew with your mouth closed. You know, you're around Wally. So I absolutely love that. But she's a great support for me. And I've just recently opened up to my stepmom. And they know I have it. You know, she's been with me my whole life for the most part. But they don't understand it like most people, her and my dad. And so I actually went and visited them about two months ago in Indiana. And I kind of opened up to them and let them know how absolutely horrible it is to have it. So they kind of understood and and really just telling them, hey, if I need a space from you guys or I need a break when we're eating dinner, like, just let me have that. And and that's what I need. I need you guys to be OK with it and not feel guilty about it. And, you know, I just need to be able to talk to you and say, you know, I have to go outside right now. I need I need a break.
Adeel [22:36]: Yeah.
Molly [22:36]: And so that was. That was definitely a huge step for me in feeling more comfortable around them.
Adeel [22:45]: Was it hard? Were they receptive?
Molly [22:48]: My stepmom is fantastic and was extremely receptive. And my dad is an old school way of thinking. I mean, he just doesn't understand it. It's not that he doesn't care. It's just he doesn't understand it.
Adeel [23:08]: For a lot of people, it's like, why can't you snap out of it? I'm sure it's a real thing, but compared to fighting in a war.
Molly [23:20]: It sounds so silly, but it's like you and I both know, it's like that doesn't
Adeel [23:27]: change the way we our bodies feel like our bodies just feel completely out of control exactly that's what yeah people like sarah say it's like uh it it's our our bodies react our bodies are reacting very differently almost separately than what our brain wants it to do because it's holding on to some uh there's some memory or some some some learned reaction um based on who knows what could be something happened a long time ago. It could be, um, things that we don't realize that developed, um, and the juries, I don't know if it's genetic. So, uh, yeah, it's, it's very much our body reacting. Not so much what we want.
Molly [24:09]: Yeah.
Adeel [24:10]: Do your, um, does your dad, uh, I was wondering like, you know, some of these other quote unquote, more popular, um, conditions like OCD, do you find that people are more receptive of those? But misophonia is kind of like, what's that?
Molly [24:25]: Oh, 100%. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker [24:28]: 100%.
Molly [24:28]: Because I feel like most people have OCD to a certain extent, right? It's just what level you're at. And I've actually noticed that just with living with my husband is like... I have OCD, like extremely bad in pretty much every aspect of my life. But I've noticed him and I'm like, oh, you have it too, my friend. So acknowledge that. So I do think that I think most people are more familiar with that terminology. So it makes them more comfortable around that. But misophonia, but I do feel like obviously like this podcast and everything else, like people are talking about it more. So I think it's becoming more socially acceptable to have it.
Adeel [25:17]: Right, right. Well, to, yeah, to kind of, there's more awareness around it. It's more socialized. I don't think to, yeah, to talk about it, to hear about it. It's interesting. I feel like it's still in a lot of the articles I read, it's still dealt with in a very kind of superficial way. um there isn't these you know diving deep into kind of all the emotions and feelings and thoughts around it uh that kind of pervade our our existence it's very much like oh it's just an extreme annoyance of sound well it's not quite an extreme annoyance of sound there's like all these other feelings and misokinesia and stuff that kind of come with it. What are kind of your coping mechanisms? It sounds like you have obviously the noise-canceling AirPods and obviously being very careful about who you spend time with. Any kind of other things that you do?
Molly [26:13]: Yeah, I mean, for me, again, mostly it's just... if I need a break, I need to take it. Like I have really tried, this is the hardest part about having it is being able to tell somebody, hey, would you mind spitting out your gum? That is the hardest thing to do. I really, really try to make an effort to talk about it more just so it's not like, I don't, because I always feel guilty if I have to tell somebody to stop doing something. It's like my the easier choice for me is just to exit the situation and maybe take some breaths and then try to come back. But I really I'm at a place where I really want to tell people and tell them and not a nasty way. But can you please stop doing that? Right. Not really the question you asked, but that's where I want to be.
Adeel [27:11]: Wow. I mean, that's a great coping mechanism is if you can have the agency to do that. If you're around other people, for me at least, well, within reason, if I'm around somebody else who at least I feel is trying or at least knows about it, then that kind of like tells my brain that you're not in a threatening situation anymore.
Molly [27:35]: yeah it's a lot easier to to that's why it's easier to be people around people i feel safe with because then i feel like they empathize and they'll be like oh my gosh i'm so sorry yeah i'll stop doing that whereas if it's a stranger it's like you never know what reaction you'll get um so i've encountered that actually a lot at the gym because right this is the time of year when we get sniffling and that kind of thing and it's i mean i still very much rage i i Like I was at the gym the other day and somebody was sniffling and I was like, shut the fuck up, you know? So that comes out of me for sure.
Adeel [28:15]: So that was, you know, just for the record, that was like not in your head. That was like actual.
Molly [28:21]: Oh, that was out loud.
Adeel [28:22]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Molly [28:23]: And it's like, I'm sure people look at me like I'm crazy, but I try to limit those instances, which I when I was younger, I used to lash out like that all the time. And I didn't care who heard me or I think most people just look at me like I was crazy. But I really, really, really want to get to a place where I can tell a stranger, hey, would you mind blowing your nose or just. But it's like, I have so much rage that I feel like I can't say it peacefully.
Adeel [28:53]: Right, right.
Molly [28:54]: But that's my goal, is to get to that place.
Adeel [28:58]: yeah yeah is there um or have you are you taking steps to get there whether it's maybe um um you know taking taking time out in the day to kind of like remind yourself to calm down like i think yeah sarah checks in with her body like around once a day or something and maybe just kind of like taking account of your nervous system and trying to relax
Molly [29:24]: I don't really like I have an alarm on my phone to do like misophonia work every single day. And whether that be to listen to a podcast or to do a breathing exercise or just to do something that I feel like is is helping me. And there's some days that I skip that. But I just for me, it's a constant reminder that I have work to do and I will always have work to do. It's never going to go away. But for me, it's like I take these little wins. So if I can be around a group of people and I can share with one person, I'm on a high for that for months. It's like I give myself a lot of credit for that.
Adeel [30:09]: You should.
Molly [30:09]: It's very hard.
Adeel [30:11]: Yeah.
Molly [30:12]: So that's really kind of how I weigh my progress. So I think about two or three weeks ago, I had shared with a couple of people that didn't know I had it. And so I'm still living on that high right now, just being able to share with more people. But it really, for me, has to be an organic moment. It really has to be where there's not a lot of other people around or especially if I'm going to talk to a stranger, it's like, I, I don't want other people hearing the conversation. If it's just me and one other person, I would be way more inclined to say like, Hey, can you please stop doing that? Um, but you know what I recently just got is these, and Sarah told me about them, but they're these misophonia cards that you can, could give to a stranger. And it kind of gives like a, a brief overview of what misophonia is. And you can, yeah,
Adeel [31:11]: Yeah, the cards from So Quiet.
Molly [31:14]: Yes. And so I just got some in the mail.
Adeel [31:18]: I haven't used them yet.
Molly [31:22]: But it's like you could get any reaction out of that, right? You could get something like, what the hell is this? Or you could get somebody that...
Adeel [31:29]: wants to know more and that's the risk you take so um i haven't used them yet but i do have them in my purse so yeah i want to use them yeah the grit to use as many places as possible i think like you going back to what you said earlier i think yeah the safer the situation the better maybe giving them to a therapist i might not know or um a teacher if you were in school things like that um you know the person at the gym after you yell at them may be a little bit more difficult but yeah you never know um but yeah we've all we've all been there um oh very cool okay and uh and if you ever um have you met other people who have misophonia i forget if you said you
Molly [32:16]: talked about it much with others no i i really haven't um you know my sister she'll say like she has some triggers too but obviously nothing compared to what i have um and so sometimes like you'll tell people like oh yeah i can't stand it when people chew with their mouth open too but it's like it's a very um mild uh you know it it I don't feel like they really have misophonia, but it's just like, Oh, I can relate a little bit.
Adeel [32:47]: Yeah, exactly. I was thinking, God bless them. But I think they're trying to relate, but it's like when somebody tells me that they have my, Oh yeah, I think I have mild misophonia. I was like, you know, yeah, you don't have a horror movie playing in your head every time you hear somebody cough.
Molly [33:04]: Oh yeah. It's real.
Adeel [33:06]: yeah okay okay interesting um so yeah i guess um so yeah you don't your your parents uh yeah your parents don't know about your sister's a psychologist do you have any anyone else in your family maybe that that has it i always kind of ask because a lot of people come on and they say that they know somebody in their family thinking back like to grandparents or something that, that may have had it.
Molly [33:32]: Yeah. I mean, also like growing up, my brother too, like he would, he would like my dad's side of the family are historic, terrible eaters. So it's like, even if you don't have misophonia, they would probably trigger you just because they're just sloppy eaters. But my brother would be like, chew with your mouth closed, you know? But again, I feel like it's just a not really misophonia, just a annoyance.
Adeel [34:05]: Did you, before this current job, I'm jumping around now, before your current job, did you have other jobs that you have some misophonia experiences from? I'm just kind of curious.
Molly [34:16]: Yeah, I mean, that's so funny you say that. So the job I had before my current job, I actually worked remotely two days a week. And I remember my boss was, again, another horrific eater, which is really surprising to see an adult chew with their mouth open.
Adeel [34:37]: Yeah. Yeah.
Molly [34:38]: It's to me, it's shocking, but I guess I'm obviously more sensitive to it. But I remember my boss when I when she inherited me, I was that was like one of the first things I noticed is like, wow, she's a really bad eater. I'm not going to be able to eat around her. um and i told her um that i had it um and again not really asking a lot of questions but i was just like yeah you know i can't really be around people who like chew with their mouth open and it again it was another one of those in one ear and out the other because i remember being in her office and her pulling out candy or whatever and i'm just like i can't even focus on what you're talking about right now like I'm that yeah you know I can't my focus is all gone so to me it's like well it's not worth me continuing a conversation about it because I know right off the bat whether you are going to be empathetic to it or not But I have definitely experienced. And actually, funny enough, my boss before that, who I'm really good friends with now, I actually talked to her a lot about it. And she's another good support I have because she is historically a gum chewer. And now she knows to not chew gum around me. And the last time I was with her, we were golfing. And I went over to her house and she's one of those people that chew gum 24 seven. And we got in my car and I said, I just want to ask you to spit your gum out. And she's like, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. I forgot. And so like those are the type of people that I need in my life, in my circle.
Adeel [36:23]: That's all it takes. Yeah. We're not asking them to move a mountain or anything.
Molly [36:27]: But it's like, it takes that special type of person to really, to want to not make you feel like shit.
Adeel [36:37]: I, it's kind of sad that that is the case.
Molly [36:42]: It's so true. And I'm, I'm lucky. Like now that I, I'm talking more, I'm like, I do have like people that are willing to not do things around me. And that makes me happy.
Adeel [36:55]: Yeah. Do you ever, like, send them a text or something when you are being triggered? Like, is it that kind of support system where you're kind of, like, called, you know, like, almost like a helpline? Or is it more, you know, when you hang out together, that's when they kind of are accommodating?
Molly [37:10]: Yeah, when we hang out, for sure. But, yeah, like I said, there is a handful of people that I would be comfortable saying, hey, stop it right now. Like, I can't, you know. It's hard. And my husband is absolutely amazing, fantastic. I can't say enough good things about him. But even he gets, you know, what's the word I'm looking for? He doesn't get annoyed. He gets... A little frustrated, impatient. Yeah, he gets frustrated, but he gets frustrated more so that... it's like he feels guilty about doing something. And I'm like, he takes it personally. That's what I want to say. And I try to repeat, repeat, repeat. Like it is not personal at all. It is the motion or the sound has nothing to do with you. And there will be occasional times that I have to reiterate that to him.
Adeel [38:06]: because he takes that personally yeah that's a common thing that's a common thing um interesting okay okay cool well um yeah we're getting to about 45 minutes actually how did you um are you in touch with the community i'm just curious how kind of how you found out about the podcast or or if you're in touch with like facebook groups and whatnot or so i'm not
Molly [38:30]: but actually Patrick told me about the podcast. He's the one that told me about it. And, um, I feel like he follows a lot of stuff cause he just naturally wanted to help me when he realized how, how this affects me every single day of my life. There's not a day that I don't, I'm not affected by it. Um, so he actually found the podcast and I don't do anything in the community. Obviously I'm, I see Sarah, um, But I mean, I would like to, but I still feel like it's still very new. And since COVID happened, you know, I know that there was, they were doing like the, the annual like, I feel like it just happened.
Adeel [39:20]: Yeah, it's actually today. Oh, shoot. Yeah, I was watching Sarah's presentation before this call. But yeah, I mean, there's recordings. Yeah, the convention. Yeah, the convention. I mean, honestly, if you're seeing Sarah, then there's a ton new that you won't hear about from her. But yeah, that's been virtual the last few years. But yeah, I mean, it's a pretty tight growing and tight community. And it sounds like you have a great support system. But if you ever wanted to talk to others, there's plenty of people who are happy to listen. And a lot of us, when I go to the convention, it's like... I don't have to introduce like all this, my history. It's like, I feel like we've gone through a lot of similar experiences. It's kind of this surreal moment of, Oh, I feel like I already know you without having to say too much.
Molly [40:16]: Yeah, definitely. I mean, I feel like that just talking to anybody that has it, it's like, Oh, somebody that understands me is like me. Um, yeah. So that's my extent of that. But I also feel like just, just talking about it more, um, it makes it, you know, out there more and more people know about it and more people get involved and yeah, it's a good direction. Yep.
Adeel [40:46]: Yep. Well, um, yeah, I mean, on that note, any, I don't know, any final words you have to, you want to, you want to tell people who are listening or, um, no, I just, I really, I really feel inspired by the people that are able to,
Molly [41:04]: to eloquently speak about it and tell their coworkers and tell their family members. I just think that's so great because it's so hard.
Adeel [41:17]: Right. Yeah. No. And, and, and, you know, it takes, um, I think we have people listening to this show and hopefully, uh, you know, other shows will, uh, and getting those cards like you got, I think hopefully it'll be helpful. I think that's a, it's a big need. Like how to, what's the language that we should use. That's going to not, you know, get a bad response or, uh, make people feel hurt. So it's important. Yeah. Well, um, yeah, Molly. And this is it. Thank you. Thank you for coming on the show. This was wonderful talking to you. And I know this is going to help a lot of people.
Molly [41:49]: Thank you so much. I was really looking forward to it. And I'm so happy I did it.
Adeel [41:54]: Thank you, Molly. It was great talking to you. And now you get to be one of the people giving back to the community through this conversation. If you liked this episode, don't forget to leave a quick review or just hit the five stars. Whatever you listen to this show, you can hit me up by email at helloatmississippi.com. misophoniapodcast.com. It's even easier to send me a message on Instagram at misophoniapodcast. You can follow there, Facebook, and on Twitter at misophoniashow. Support the show by visiting Patreon at patreon.com slash misophoniapodcast. Theme music, as always, is by Moby, and until next week, wishing you peace and quiet.
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