Jessica - Student Navigates College Life with Misophonia

S5 E19 - 3/9/2022
In this episode, Adeel interviews Jessica, a senior college student studying music education, who discovered she had misophonia in her freshman year. Living on campus has presented unique challenges, especially with noises in dorm settings like pounding from adjacent walls. As a cellist, finding the right environment for practice is crucial due to the nuanced nature of the instrument. Jessica also discusses her classroom experiences, noting difficulties with quiet settings and visual triggers. She has found some coping mechanisms and received accommodations from understanding teachers and friends. Misophonia first became noticeable to her in high school and later at home, with her father's coughing due to medication being a significant trigger. Music plays a therapeutic role for Jessica, both in playing and listening, offering an escape. Her family, after initially being unaware, has become supportive and accommodating. Jessica is planning a thesis project focused on supporting students with misophonia in the classroom and intends to explore the connection between musicians' sensitivity to sounds and misophonia. She encourages others with the condition to remember they are not alone and emphasizes the importance of community and research in understanding and coping with misophonia.
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Transcript

Adeel [0:01]: Welcome to the Misophonia Podcast. This is Season 5, Episode 19. My name's Adeel Ahmad, and I have Misophonia. This one's a relatively short one, but no less fascinating, especially in light of the recent news of a student in Tennessee suing for basic accommodations to manage Misophonia. Today I'm talking to Jessica, who is a senior in college, and we talk about living on campus, being in class, and all her coping tips. She just found out about MISO a few years ago, and we talk about how she brought it up with her parents, who actually were her first triggers, no surprise. Just a reminder to follow the show on Instagram at MISOPHONIAPODCAST, also on Facebook, Twitter, and sometimes TikTok. You can email me anytime at hello at misophoniapodcast.com. And I also keep forgetting to mention the Misophonia Podcast app, which was built right here from scratch, which it's not only a podcast player, but also a sound generator, a journal, and a resource guide. Remember, if you like this or any other episode, you can help by leaving a quick rating or review wherever you listen to the show. All right, now here's my conversation with Jessica. Welcome, Jessica, to the podcast. Good to have you here.

Jessica [1:19]: Thank you. Pleasure to be here.

Adeel [1:21]: So, yeah, let's start with kind of, you know, whereabouts are you?

Jessica [1:28]: Yeah, I'm located kind of in the Midwest of the US around that area. I'm currently attending college right now. I normally live closer to New York, but I'm around here at the moment to complete my studies.

Adeel [1:45]: great yeah what are you studying yeah i'm studying music education oh nice okay cool yeah i've had uh musicians had a music uh therapy major on in the past actually not not too long ago so uh yeah it's very cool and uh yeah and creativity and and misophonia has been kind of a recurring topic so uh we'll probably touch on the things like that but um

Jessica [2:11]: you want to yeah maybe i usually kind of for students i kind of usually start with like how's uh student life uh with uh misophonia yeah it's always a very interesting experience because for one i live in a dorm setting and sounds outside walls and everything i currently don't live with a roommate so that's not an issue but sounds outside walls sounds above me I have a particular issue when it comes to pounding noises from behind kind of walls and everything. So that can always be an interesting experience in trying to settle down. I usually try and find different ways to cope with that. They don't always work because whatever does. But yeah.

Adeel [2:56]: And you're a musician, so it's got to be... What instrument are you playing?

Jessica [3:04]: I am a cellist.

Adeel [3:05]: Oh, okay. Oh, that's interesting because then, right, it's not like you're playing a heavy guitar that can kind of drown out other noises. It's much more nuanced. So getting that right environment is even more critical, I would think. And yeah, interesting. Okay. So you were going to say something and then I cut you off.

Jessica [3:29]: No worries. I was going to mention the classroom experience as well. That has always had its particular challenges in very quiet setting, very quiet lecture settings, sitting close to people who make recurring sounds, whether it be like, I find that knuckle cracking has become very popular lately. Oh, really?

Adeel [3:50]: Yeah.

Jessica [3:50]: Yeah. And then other kinds of things like shaking, the repetitive sounds that come from that, and also the sight of it. I tend to have issues when it comes to seeing.

Adeel [4:00]: The musical issue.

Jessica [4:02]: Yeah. I've had issues with that.

Adeel [4:05]: Yeah. So how are you dealing with that in the classroom setting?

Jessica [4:11]: It's... It's always an interesting experience. Sometimes some coping mechanisms work, sometimes others just don't. It depends, because as far as sight triggers, I usually kind of just put my hand in just the right place, so I can't see that going on. It's... I try my best, at least. It sometimes looks a little weird, but I do what I can.

Adeel [4:35]: Do you ever mention it to anybody, like your teachers or anybody?

Jessica [4:40]: I have mentioned it to some close friends because sometimes I worry as coming off as like, oh, this person is just rude or oh, this person is just bothered by nothing because some people don't always like to try and understand with that because it's something very new that they don't know about. then i have told some close friends most close friends that i've talked to have been very accommodating and understanding that sometimes these things just happen as far as teachers go i have actually had a lot of teachers that have helped me out with some of these things have offered to help me move seats have offered to let me take tests in separate locations or with headphones in to really not sit in that such silent setting where somebody could make a single noise and completely just throw me completely off the track.

Adeel [5:35]: Yeah. I mean, change your, the rest of your life possibly. Um, if you've, you know, if you do badly on a, on an important task, well, that's great that, uh, your, your teachers have, uh, seem to rather been, uh, kind of, you've had relative success in getting accommodations from, from teachers. That's great.

Jessica [5:54]: Yeah.

Adeel [5:56]: Did you just find out recently that it had a name? I'm just curious, like, kind of when, you know, your trajectory.

Jessica [6:04]: Yeah, so I actually, I'm a senior in college right now. I found out my freshman year back in 2018 that it had a name. I accidentally stumbled upon it because... I was just on some Twitter thread where somebody was talking about leg shaking and how some people kind of had issues with the sounds. So I looked into it. I'm like, hey, I have that same thing. And then I see this name of just misophonia. So I'm like, what is this? And I looked it up on Google. and just kind of went through exactly what it was with all the symptoms and just about every single thing matched with what I've been experiencing. And it was just this amazing moment of, oh my gosh, there's an actual name to this. I am not just crazy or a very angry person. This is something that people experience and that's real.

Adeel [6:55]: Yeah. Yeah. And I guess going back, like, you know, what were some of your early memories?

Jessica [7:02]: Yeah, some of my earliest memories have been just getting frustrated in class settings or by certain sounds that I just didn't like, whether it be some sort of loud chewing sound or some sort of repetitive ticking sound I'd often find in classrooms. I'd just try and cover my ears for a bit, try and just block everything out and try and manage with my stress. And I thought for the longest time that it was just me going crazy, like I mentioned. Yeah.

Adeel [7:34]: And was it mainly school or were you also getting triggered at home?

Jessica [7:40]: It was also at home. Home took a little bit later into high school. I first my first memory of this happening was sophomore year of high school, where I just remember sitting in my classroom and dealing with that. And when eventually it evolved to home issues because My dad, he's very lovely, but he does have a repeated dry cough issue because of medication, unfortunately. So I've heard that cough a lot. I've heard things like that where it just, it has slowly gotten to me more and more.

Adeel [8:14]: Right, right, right. Okay. Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. As you probably know, usually it starts in the home and then it kind of maybe or maybe not hits school. But it's interesting that, yeah, your school is a recurring theme for you. And do you feel like, you know, music is a big part of your life. Was there ever kind of a therapy for you, like hitting cello, you know, when you're getting triggered, just kind of like trying to come back to normal?

Jessica [8:44]: Oh yeah, it definitely has been. I've found that kind of playing any sort of music on any instrument, or I like to sing as well, just finding a chance to relax and just allow me to kind of use my emotions in a way that doesn't kind of fully activate my brain in a kind of way of frustration or anything. It's just activating myself in a very calm way. And this book goes both with playing music or listening to music as well. That was a big escape of mine.

Adeel [9:15]: yeah i'm imagining you'd get triggered and put on headphones or earbuds or whatever to just kind of drown things out or or just kind of come back to yeah come back to normal i guess what did your parents think when uh i mean how did how are you kind of reacting um as as you know these early triggers were happening at home at least

Jessica [9:36]: Yeah, I don't know 100% if my parents truly reacted much because I would do my best to kind of hide these things generally because, once again, I just thought I was crazy. So I figured there was no need to bring this up really. I just needed to learn to control myself as best as possible and just kind of learn to deal with it. So I tried to hide it. I don't know if they could tell or not my frustration. They never ended up bringing it up, thankfully. But, yeah. since then have you have you brought it up with them at all yeah i remember coming home from college one semester and i have no idea how the conversation started but i ended up saying i think i have something going on in my brain that i found out a couple months ago it's called misophonia and my mom started looking it up and researching it and trying to understand it better. And ever since, she's been very helpful in trying to understand what the heck is going on in my brain and what she can do to help me through it.

Adeel [10:42]: yeah okay and uh have you noticed a change at home like they're um like things have gotten a little bit easier whether whether directly from uh them maybe being accommodating but also maybe just maybe having it out in the open has that kind of like uh brought any kind of i don't know easier to handle

Jessica [11:02]: Yeah, it's been a mix of up and downs because at first I'm laying kind of my frustrations out on the line that they didn't know were frustrations towards sounds. This required a little bit of them getting used to, and at first it was like, oh, I don't know if I can deal with managing a person who... has so many triggers to such common sounds, but eventually we've all learned to work together really with it. They've been very kind about it. They acknowledge that this is a real thing just going on with me and they have overall gotten used to it. Occasionally there'll be a little dispute here and there where they don't think they are causing too much of a problem or it's something they can't control and it's causing a problem with me. But we do end up working it out and really talking about it and making it work as best as we can.

Adeel [11:56]: Do you have any siblings?

Jessica [11:59]: Yeah, I have my brother.

Adeel [12:00]: Okay. And is he also accommodating or does he tease or is he curious? I've heard a mixed bag.

Jessica [12:09]: Yeah it's a mix here and there. He doesn't necessarily tease all the time. He may get frustrated here and there with it but in the end he understands and overall it has worked out between us. Ironically he has had the least of triggers overall for me and all of my family. So I mean that also helps contribute to maybe a little bit less of a issue with it but yeah.

Adeel [12:36]: right have you um um you know you don't have to like go into anything but like have you have any have you had other comorbid conditions that maybe um maybe got you know a lot of people have like edd or ocd or things like that or anxiety that gets kind of like uh where the misappointed just kind of gets rolled into that or misdiagnosed. I'm curious if you've been diagnosed for anything else and maybe if you've seeked out help.

Jessica [13:11]: Yeah, I had not been diagnosed for anything else. I thought for the longest time that this was just a form of anxiety or even just anger issues that I didn't understand yet, and I attempted to kind of bring it up to doctors, but I didn't really feel like they were getting it very much. Some tried, because a lot of doctors just don't know what this is, so they really don't know what to do. Even as I kind of gave them a name, they... couldn't do a whole lot. They tried their best, but in some cases it didn't feel like they were fully understanding what I was going for.

Adeel [13:47]: Yeah, it's so common. Unfortunately. Interesting. And I mean, at school, did you just kind of hold it in as well? Like that was kind of your first triggers. Sounds like you just kind of like didn't you just kind of like bottled it up and just tried to get through. Yeah.

Jessica [14:08]: I have worked a lot on trying to bottle it up overall. And if not that, try and find either healthy ways to let it out or just ways to conceal it as best as I can using those coping mechanisms as best as I can. I occasionally tell people, at least people I trust or people who know this is an issue, I just mention, hey, can you please stop doing that? And most of the time they are understanding about it. Some people occasionally have just gotten a little frustrated asking, why do I need to stop that? Or what's the problem? It's not a big deal. Stuff like that. Right.

Adeel [14:48]: So I have gotten occasionally.

Jessica [14:49]: It's not a big deal reaction. Yeah. Oh boy, my favorite one.

Adeel [14:53]: yeah and and um you know you so yeah we talked a little bit about music so you want to go into music education i'm just curious have you thought about um um how you know if and how you would kind of um um you know have have misophonia as part of that like a whether as an educator maybe thinking about not triggering people or but also using maybe using music as kind of conscientiously as kind of a therapy. I'm just curious if you've thought about that at all or you're just kind of focused on like teaching people music.

Jessica [15:35]: yeah i have definitely been thinking about different ways to help students with misophonia having my own experience in my hands i'm actually doing a thesis project next semester where that's going to be my topic and how to help students with misophonia in the classroom because right now there's only ever so much we can do and usually it has to usually it's the student who has to ask for it rather than Yeah. And it's always a gamble with realizing whether they can ask it or not based on who the teacher is, things like that. But that's going to be a lot of what I do next semester, which I'm really looking forward to.

Adeel [16:11]: Well, I'm looking forward to having you back on the show to talk about that when you're when you're when you're doing that. That'd be fascinating.

Jessica [16:19]: Absolutely. I'd be happy to.

Adeel [16:22]: Have you met anybody else at school or otherwise that has misophonia?

Jessica [16:27]: So I've only heard through kind of the grapevine. One friend, when I described my problem to him, he was like, oh, wait a minute. My friend has that. And my brain just, I could not comprehend that there was another person like me as well. And also another thing I ended up finding out, because my mom was actually talking to her sister or my aunt about this. And she was mentioning, yeah, my daughter has these problems. And my aunt... apparently. her daughter or my cousin actually also has these issues that I had no idea throughout my entire life that she did. So finding out that was very interesting. And we believe at this point, it's kind of run a little bit through my mom's side of the family. My aunt has little hints of it. My mom here and there has issues with very specific sounds. So maybe not to my extent, my cousin may likely has it to my extent, but yeah.

Adeel [17:28]: Have you connected with your cousin about that?

Jessica [17:31]: I only briefly discussed it and she's provided advice and like, it's very difficult to get through, but you can do this. I wish you the best of luck because unfortunately we do have language barriers. She lives in a, another continent.

Adeel [17:46]: So, okay.

Jessica [17:47]: Yeah.

Adeel [17:48]: Gotcha. Okay. Interesting. Um, but, but she, she's, uh, okay. She's another continent, but she's, uh, okay. I'm curious if she's like a blood relative of yours or through some other. Okay. Okay. Interesting. Not that there's any hereditary linkage, but it's always an interesting data point. If we're talking about running in the family. Okay. Interesting. And yeah, I mean, yeah, so you're in college now. Have you thought about, you know, we talked about a little bit about, you know, I'm very interested in the study that you're going to be doing, but like life after like in the work environment basically i'm just curious what kind of work environments um are are kind of ahead of you was it be research teaching um because obviously you're going to want to think about uh well you're probably thinking about like how many people are going to be around me to trigger me if you know what that what that might be like you it sounds like you probably won't be in like a uh kind of a tech open office environment. But I'm curious, what would be typical for you and what are you looking forward to?

Jessica [18:59]: Yeah, I am planning most likely for my future, at least for the time being, to be in some sort of music classroom setting, primarily for either high school or middle school. That's just the range I prefer to work with overall. And I have had concerns here and there of like, what if there's a student in the classroom who constantly has makes a certain sound or something like this. And it's just so difficult to control all the time when it, especially if it's a student doing something as just a very simple leg shaking habit. And while I've had that concern, I found that my teaching experiences so far, I'm either so focused on teaching and focusing on the lesson that I have been able to push misophonies to the side or have not even heard it overall, thankfully yet. So I'm not 100% sure if that will maintain throughout my career. And I still do have worries about that, but thankfully I have not had a severe issue where I'm teaching in the classroom. It's been a problem for me.

Adeel [20:06]: yeah do you think it's because you're so focused on your work or you're focused on music which is kind of a therapy for you that that you're able to um not notice it so much or maybe um the other thing i was going to ask is like do you find that musicians maybe are somehow more sensitive to sounds overall i don't know if you've been able to make that and you know any any kind of conclusion there

Jessica [20:32]: I don't know 100%, but I do know that a lot of my kind of musician colleagues and those that I've worked with are very in tune when it comes to picking out very little details in music, whether it be just something like tone quality and color or just single instrumental lines within a major work. And I don't know 100% if it ever impacted misophonia, but... there is potentially a chance regarding kind of how the ear listens so acutely.

Adeel [21:08]: Yeah, interesting. Yeah, do you have any, like, I don't know, sneak peeks or anything that you, regarding your upcoming study or kind of things that... you know, well, kind of hypothesis that you're trying to prove, or is it really just kind of like trying to understand, just trying to go in kind of greenfield?

Jessica [21:34]: Yeah, I don't have 100% yet every kind of little aspect of it set in place so far. Since I'm student teaching next semester, I'm hoping to do a lot of my stuff within the classroom setting, which would definitely be helpful in observing students and observing the kind of environment I'd be working with. I still have a lot to think about in terms of hypothesis and what exactly I'm trying to prove and also brainstorming. those ideas ahead of time and thinking, can I put this in a classroom? And if I walk into the classroom and try and put this in, would it actually work with both the student and other students with the curriculum? Anything like that.

Adeel [22:13]: Have you, I don't know if you heard the Natalie episode, she goes to UCLA, but I always bring it up when I speak to a student because she started a misophonic support group at UCLA and has been kind of trying to grow that and getting more, finding other misophones. I don't know if you've thought about doing that at the institution that you're at.

Jessica [22:36]: I think that would be definitely something I would like to look into.

Adeel [22:40]: It might be just a group of one at the beginning, but you never know how... As you know, once you get the definition out there and people read it, many of us just won't know what to look for because we think we're just kind of angry people. But when you read the definition, I would imagine that you could... Yeah, you can start to... um have people identify and then come and join that you know that'd be that'd be an interesting thing to try maybe in conjunction with your with your with your uh research yeah i really like that thank you for the idea and uh yeah and yeah when you come back on it'd be interesting to talk about to see if you actually got anybody um very cool okay um yeah and what and like in terms of coping methods now now you know yeah now that you've had some time to know what it is you've probably done a little bit of research and i don't know you may have heard some episodes curious kind of what your uh what your go-to kind of uh day-to-day gear or armor is

Jessica [23:44]: Yeah, it's definitely a mix of things. A lot of it is just trying to find new creative ways to cover my ears or just cover one ear and just lean on it ever so slightly to where I'm like pushing my knuckle against the ear. So it's just, it's covering it, but kind of looks subtle, things like that.

Adeel [24:03]: Can you bring, like you must have earbuds or headphones that you probably wear quite a bit. Okay, yeah. Are you a, yeah, go on.

Jessica [24:12]: Oh, sorry. I have worn earbuds and earplugs very often throughout my life at school.

Adeel [24:18]: Do you have any favorites that are kind of your go-to?

Jessica [24:23]: I've just been mostly using either any kind of regular earplugs that I've found. Thankfully, they've worked just fine. I know my dad's an officer and he's done shooting range practice and... They had earplugs there, so he's just snagged me a couple extra and given it to me, and they've worked perfectly.

Adeel [24:41]: Gotcha. Are you a front or back of the room person in your classes?

Jessica [24:49]: It's a weird mix. I like the front of the room for learning purposes, misophonian purposes. I like the back of the room because for some reason... When I can see the sound or see where the source of the sound is coming from and it's directly in front of me, it's way more comforting to me than if I hear it behind me, which is a little ironic considering my problem in seeing like someone's leg shake or something like that. But for some reason, the sensation of the sound directly in front of me just adds that level of control to myself to where I feel calmer.

Adeel [25:25]: That's very interesting. So the control kind of overcomes maybe a bit of the visual. Do you ever find yourself mimicking? You know how mimicking for a lot of people is a therapy.

Jessica [25:40]: Oh, yeah. I have mimicked quite often. I have just gotten used to that overall. At first, when I used to do it before I knew Mesa Pony was a thing, I just thought I was being really rude and trying to mock people. But then I found out that this is an actual coping thing and that this happens. And then, yeah, I do that very frequently as best as I can.

Adeel [26:04]: Yeah, it's weird. A lot of people who don't know each other have never... long before they knew it had a name, were doing the same thing. And now the research backs it up. I don't know if you're familiar with Dr. Kumar's research, but how the motor cortex thought process is like overstimulated when you're seeing somebody, basically when you're getting triggered. And so the parts of your jaw or whatever, or maybe you're in the case of like shaking your legs, the part of your brain that would control that is overactive, even though you're not making the movement. And once you mimic it, it's kind of like almost, they think it's kind of like completing that cycle. And so kind of putting your body at ease

Jessica [26:56]: so it's interesting there might be a might be a neurological basis for this mimicking yeah i definitely always love to see new research come out i recently read this research as well so yeah i love to see the new research and to know that there's so much science behind it that's going on that there's so many brain processes that's going on and it just runs throughout all of the brain and all of the body. And I just, it's really nice to know that there's more information coming out and it gives me a lot of hope for the future of understanding misophonia.

Adeel [27:32]: Yeah. No, the fuel, I can't, I can't get any, uh, we're so early that I, it, uh, the, you know, the only, the only way is up. It's only going to get better. Um, have you, so it sounds like, uh, is he going to do some, uh, research coming up? It sounds like you are thinking about, um, know yourself kind of pushing the envelope a little bit have you uh thought about other ways to or or do you know in any other ways um do you do any advocacy to try to get the word out uh from misophonia or is it you're just kind of pretty busy with school i initially attempted to do it

Jessica [28:09]: during my sophomore year of college i was slated to actually begin doing kind of research on misophonia in general and presenting it to my college at their kind of presentation festival where i'd present like this is what misophonia is this is why it's important and that's why we should start to understand it but unfortunately covid came along and that did not end up happening

Adeel [28:33]: right right okay well yeah well now that it's kind of like uh um well it's evolving let's just say i'm not gonna say it's gone away but yeah you'll you'll think you'll yeah hopefully you'll get more opportunities to do that did you find that um uh you know the faculty's kind of receptive to that or or is it just uh you know they they do some accommodations here and there but then just leave it at that

Jessica [28:59]: Yeah, the faculty I've spoken to about this project overall and the kind of research type thing, they've been very for it from all I can see. The professor I proposed it to is particularly in education and special needs and education professors. So she's very looking forward to working on types of learning accommodations and things like that.

Adeel [29:25]: Okay. Yeah. Very cool. All right. All right. And this is going to be like a, you're a sophomore. So you wait, you're a sophomore right now?

Jessica [29:34]: Senior.

Adeel [29:35]: Senior. Yeah. You're a senior. Okay. Okay. Right. You, you found out how to name when you were a sophomore. Okay. Yeah. So you're going to be coming in. Are you going to be going, do you think you're going to be doing more like grad school after this or just going right into an education environment?

Jessica [29:52]: I'm planning on going into education environment at first and then going back to grad school. Once I have an idea of where I want to go in my life.

Adeel [30:01]: Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. Okay, cool. And then, uh, outside of this, are you doing music like, uh, um, just kind of recreational, like in, I don't know, in your orchestras or groups or chamber music? I'm just curious outside of school, what you do.

Jessica [30:16]: Yeah, I've, I've obviously done a lot of school ensembles and orchestras and chamber groups. Outside of school or sometimes school sanctioned events, but extracurricular type things, I have done little ensembles. I'm currently playing bass for a performance that will happen later in October. And I also play cello with a trio of my friends. We kind of do an improv type thing every week and we're hoping to expand that.

Adeel [30:48]: improv uh theater or like jazz um kind of just improv classical music sometimes it can vary into jazz we don't have a set genre it's just whatever we're feeling so how does it work you you just you pick uh you pick some chords and then you just kind of go with it and it's it's almost like almost like a jazz almost like a jazz approach but then it's it's it's it's classical music

Jessica [31:13]: Yeah, that's pretty much exactly what we do. We just pick a key, go with it, and yeah, it's me on cello, a friend on violin, and a friend on clarinet.

Adeel [31:24]: Yeah, do you have any, I don't know, anything on YouTube or anything that we can see? I'd be super curious to see how that works.

Jessica [31:31]: We do not currently, but we are working on trying to figure out some kind of social media. We may need to get on that.

Adeel [31:38]: Yeah, yeah. No, that's really interesting. And then bass, you're playing double bass or like rock bass?

Jessica [31:45]: This one specifically is electric bass.

Adeel [31:48]: Okay. Okay. Interesting. Gotcha. And then the singing, what kind of singing? I'm curious.

Jessica [31:54]: I pretty much do any kind of singing. I mainly stumbled into the realms of classical and vocal jazz, but I'm slowly entering kind of that rock music type thing because I've always been a big rock and roll fan. So working on evolving that.

Adeel [32:07]: Yeah. Do you go to any kind of music when you're trying to come back from a trigger or are there certain types of music maybe that are better for you when you're getting triggered?

Jessica [32:21]: I find that my best ones are either classical music just from the peace and comfort of it. I know I found a lot of comfort in very specific pieces that I go back to every single time. And also, ironically, rock music. I find that the very steady, fast-paced tempo and knowing a rock song that I enjoy or hold close to my heart, it helps calm me down and bring me back to a nicer headspace.

Adeel [32:49]: Right. Also, that noise can kind of be soothing. What are some of your go-to classical pieces? Or rock, even.

Jessica [32:59]: Yeah, classical pieces, I know I've gone to the Mendelssohn E-flat string octets very often. I've gone to... either Brahms clarinet trio or Brahms piano quintet, those ones, a lot of them also have nostalgia for me or some kind of emotional aspect to it to where I can really lean into the music and fully let my emotions calm down. Classic rock, it's usually whatever comes up on my Spotify playlist will be from very specific bands that I've known for many years, whether it be Van Halen, Bad Company, things like that.

Adeel [33:38]: All right. Going back to the eighties. Excellent. Yeah.

Jessica [33:41]: Oh yeah.

Adeel [33:43]: Yeah. They, uh, yeah. I mean, a lot of that guitar music was, uh, very, uh, conducive to kind of drowning, drowning stuff. I spent many years in my eighties, uh, yeah. Drowning out triggers. Um, yeah. Very interesting. Well, um, Yeah, no, this is, yeah, this is really cool. Yeah, I'm curious, actually, would you, have you ever thought about going to see like an audiologist or other type of therapist to kind of like, I know you've talked to your main doctors, but I'm curious if that has made you think about seeking out like more specific help with someone who might actually know what they're talking about when it comes to misophonia.

Jessica [34:25]: I, we have, my mom and I actually have looked into this. We have looked for people. The problem is we can never really find anybody who's ever heard of it. My mom has asked many people in many different locations and she works in the healthcare herself. So she, both of us have just not been able to find somebody who knows what it is and can attempt to help us.

Adeel [34:49]: Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. And well, um, well, I mean, yeah, maybe we can, uh, um, talk about that offline or, or maybe look, there's, I think, uh, the Misophonia Association has like a directory of some people who, uh, obviously are, you know, know what misophonia is and might be able to help. Uh, I mean, there's different avenues. You can go audiologist or psychologist or psychiatrist, you know, um, there's quite a wide spectrum. So I guess it, might depend on which direction you want to go. But believe it or not, there are a few people around that do know what it is. Well, cool. Yeah, I don't know. I guess anything else you kind of want to share with people or anything you want to plug, maybe an improv performance or if you're looking for maybe some people to talk to before you start your research on misophonia. Anything you want to share with people or advice?

Jessica [35:53]: um as far as plugging things i would like to send you things separately once i have them ready both from improv trio and for future research and like to keep in touch about that to hopefully update and provide good updates on what i'm working on things like that as far as advice goes i just say remember you are not alone you are not crazy there is a real thing going on in your brain And there are many people just like you who are going through the same exact battle. And we can all do this together. We will find a way to get through this and hopefully let the world know who we are and what we're doing.

Adeel [36:35]: Very well said, Jessica. Yeah, that's great. You should put people on the spot and it kind of takes a second to come up with something. But, you know, that's really well said. And, yeah, I appreciate it. And, yeah, I mean, I always appreciate people who are, you know, willing to do research. I mean, you're about to do some research on it, specifically take time out and, you know, make it part of your... i mean that considered as part of your career even even though you're you know you're still in school this is uh it's it's always good to hear people who are trying to push the envelope so yeah i appreciate uh and good luck with whatever you're doing and yeah i'm i'm as you know people may or may not know that they should know by now i'm yeah i'm always wanting to uh i want to you know um promote anything people are working on so yeah definitely yeah i'll have links to everything anything you send me in the show notes and uh i wish you the best of luck

Jessica [37:27]: Thank you. I really appreciate it.

Adeel [37:28]: Thank you, Jessica. I will definitely share links to anything you want to promote. And that goes for anyone out there with misophonia. We should seek out and feed each other's creative outlets. If you liked this episode, remember, don't forget to leave a quick review or just hit the five stars wherever you listen to the show. You can hit me up at helloatmissifunnypodcast.com or go to the website, missifunnypodcast.com. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, whatever. Remember to support the show if you can at Patreon, patreon.com slash missifunnypodcast. The music, as always, is by Moby. And until next week, wishing you peace and quiet.

Unknown Speaker [38:11]: you