Kayla: Teaching Her Daughters It Isn't Their Fault

Adeel Ahmad [0:00]: kick into it. okay, yeah. Kayla, welcome to the podcast. Great to have you here.

Kayla [0:06]: Thank you for having me.

Adeel Ahmad [0:08]: Yeah. So yeah, do you want to tell us a little bit about people like to kind of know where people are where you're located, kind of a little bit about maybe what you do?

Kayla [0:17]: I'm in Ohio, southern Ohio, and I'm a stay at home mother of three little girls, two of which are homeschooled, so that that is my job.

Adeel Ahmad [0:30]: Awesome, awesome. So yeah, so I guess do you wanna do you wanna tell us a little bit about kinda what your I guess what your misophonia life is like these days.

Kayla [0:41]: I call it everyday torture. anybody that can you that has misophonia or knows somebody with it can probably relate to that. it is definitely an everyday struggle. and it's something that a lot of people don't understand. So to explain that, you know, it becomes difficult.

Adeel Ahmad [1:01]: Right. Yeah. Ha have you tried to I mean have you tried to explain it to like p the people around you do they kinda understand? Or are you constantly having to kind of like remind people?

Kayla [1:16]: most most everyone in my immediate circle definitely understands. but if meeting someone new, like my children's friends, if they come over, like trying to explain that to them, you know, they're little kids. They don't get it. For the most part, everyone understands.

Adeel Ahmad [1:30]: Mm. Right. Right. Yeah. And actually, this came up in a what's came up comes up a lot. It came up in the a recent episode, but like I mean, to put it bluntly, like do your own tri do your own children trigger you? Mm, okay, okay. Some people it doesn't because it's I don't know what it is. Like sometimes your brain can kinda like

Kayla [1:50]: Absolutely. D

Adeel Ahmad [2:00]: realize that they're they're not like some kind of existential threat. But for others, yeah, it definitely definitely does trigger.

Kayla [2:06]: Yeah, I absolutely wish that were the case. Like my mother with my first child when she was just two years old, you know, it would bother like so many sounds bother me and it I know that they're just typical sounds and my mom was like, How you know, how can you be upset with her? She's two years old. That unfortunately for me doesn't I ca doesn't change my reactions.

Adeel Ahmad [2:09]: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. So how do you I mean how do you how do you cope with that? I guess now now you have three of them. obviously you're spending a lot of time with them, you love them, you're homeschooling them.

Kayla [2:35]: Yeah. Yeah. they are first of all one is twelve and then I have a nine year old and then a six year old. So they are all very aware of my disorder. So they do a pretty good job at at you know supporting me through that. However, if if I'm being triggered, all I have to do is just give a look and they know immediately like crap.

Adeel Ahmad [2:47]: Mm. okay, okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. And they've probably seen maybe some of your more I I guess less less calm reactions in the past. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. yeah, so I guess how do you d have you talked to them about it, like explained it to them or has it just kind of been something it's been kind of trial by fire or learning by fire?

Kayla [3:09]: Let's get away from them. Absolutely. Unfortunately, yes that yes. I've explained to them as much as I can understand about it myself. I know it in my world it just recently like the research is finally starting to take off. So without that, you know, I've trying to explain to them like it it's not anything you're doing. This has nothing to do with you. It is you know, something going on within me. It that is kind of hard to explain. I do think that they get it now, but yeah.

Adeel Ahmad [3:42]: Yeah. Yeah. Well so did you recently find out that it even had a name?

Kayla [4:08]: I was around I wanna say twenty two years old, so many, many years ago, when I had first found out that it had a name, before then I thought I was crazy. Like I thought I was the only one in the world that struggled with this and something was wrong with me. And then there then I saw a name for it on social media and started looking into it immediately.

Adeel Ahmad [4:13]: Mm. Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, and then I guess but before that, what well maybe we might as well I guess rewind and we'll we'll come back to the present, but like when did you first start noticing it?

Kayla [4:48]: I think I was about twelve years old. what really made me notice it was my mother worked in a billing department for our hospital. So she was constantly on a keyboard. So if I would call to speak to her or she would call me, I would get angry very quickly. and i I didn't understand why. so I couldn't really explain that to her, but she was very supportive in the fact that knowing

Adeel Ahmad [5:01]: Mm.

Kayla [5:17]: There's something about that sound that is triggering me. So she would, bless her heart, stop typing before she would call me, or immediately, you know, when she'd answer the phone if I was calling her, she would stop. So that she was the only person that really understood. And then, like I said, I didn't really even understand it. So from twelve until twenty-two, I literally just thought I was crazy.

Adeel Ahmad [5:46]: Yeah, so it was around twelve that I was gonna ask, like when did you Yeah. Interesting. and okay, so the type and interesting, yeah, so that the typing was triggering. So she was working at home or were you with her at the office?

Kayla [5:48]: Yeah. No, she no, this was just over phone calls. I could hear it through the phone. Like it I'm it's so you know, I'm so hypersensitive to these sounds and a lot of people want to say, Well can't can't you just ignore it? I really wish that I could.

Adeel Ahmad [6:03]: Okay, I see. Right. Classic. Can you just ignore it? did and and so then at home did more triggers start to affect you?

Kayla [6:18]: Right. yes. I think it with with my mother, that was when I was able to like voice it enough to be aware of it. But I mean there are so many triggers the clock ticking, sniffling, tapping, the dog chewing on the bone, ri just repetitive sounds in general, almost like everything.

Adeel Ahmad [6:33]: Mm. Yeah, so that was that was happening when you were growing up, like from twelve to twenty two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what did what did what did like were you living with other family members, siblings, dad? What were their reactions?

Kayla [6:53]: Mm-hmm. it was yeah, my mother, father, myself and my brother. My brother would intentionally make these sounds, you know, brother, sister relationship. right. mom was super supportive and with dad I I he was aware of it but I don't I wasn't as close or around him all you know, he was working more so he didn't have to really deal with that on my end.

Adeel Ahmad [7:08]: Mm-hmm. Shocking. Mm-hmm. Gotcha, gotcha. And and so this this was like in southern Ohio. Like w what I guess what was I don't know, what was life like for you? at home and the family, like what what was kind of going on? Pretty typical?

Kayla [7:47]: yeah, it was pretty typical. my parents were married up until my mother passed away a couple of years ago. so I know I'm fortunate enough to have that, you know, my parents together and then my brother and I were pretty close. We lived more in the country, so we didn't have a whole lot of friends to play with. We were in sports, I was in sports constantly. but yeah, pretty pretty typical.

Adeel Ahmad [7:54]: Mm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And at school were were things triggering you there?

Kayla [8:19]: yes. So yes, ninth grade, and I say this as a joke of course, but it it it's a very like real feeling almost. ninth grade info tech, so computer class. I don't know how I made that through without I do not know how everybody else made that through. With no harm. It was l horrible. that was the biggest one.

Adeel Ahmad [8:34]: Mm. Yeah.

Kayla [8:48]: And then they're chewing gum, popping gum, d you know, chewing with your mouth open. It even it doesn't even have to be open. If I can hear it, it is triggering. So there was a lot a lot of that.

Adeel Ahmad [8:49]: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. High school is is not great great for that. just going back, just just one one note. Was your did you say your your computer class in high school was called InfoTech?

Kayla [9:13]: It was yeah, information technology. I d I don't know what it is called now because that's just natural to have computers, but yes.

Adeel Ahmad [9:20]: I mean that sounds like reminds me of the the movie office space and yeah, infotech that's funny. Okay, okay. back to back to Misophonia. so so did did you confide in friends at all when you were you know through high school and maybe even through college?

Kayla [9:29]: Ha ha ha. Yeah, absolutely. some of them, my closer ones, for the most part I wanna say like learned to accommodate me, but which I do that myself. some weren't as supportive, but it is also like a hard thing. It's very shameful to have to explain that to somebody that doesn't understand that. So I I wanna say for the most part my close friends w were pretty good about being you know. keeping awareness of my triggers. But not everyone.

Adeel Ahmad [10:11]: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and and and and speak I mean, go back to family a bit, did did you notice well actually did you tell any other family members as the years went on?

Kayla [10:24]: not directly. I don't I don't recall that I, you know, directly had had told anybody other than just the ones living in my home. and I would separate myself, you know, of the typical misophonia behaviors, coping behaviors, yes, separating myself. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And because I feel like a hypocrite. Like I really feel horrible. Like if you're if I'm doing the same thing that I cannot see and to be around you while you're doing it, like that makes me feel horrible.

Adeel Ahmad [10:29]: Yeah. Yeah. I'll take my food and peace out. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Kayla [10:55]: So yeah, I'd rather just even if it doesn't bother that person at all, I'm like it bothers me to to do what you're doing, to to be a human being in the way that we all are.

Adeel Ahmad [11:00]: Yeah. Did your parents ever wanna take you to see any, I don't know, psychologist, psychiatrist, get any professional help, maybe even for other stuff?

Kayla [11:13]: I was gonna say not not necessarily regarding that. I had done a little counseling here and there, just like grief counseling, you know, losing grandmothers. But no, I hadn't hadn't it all my mom also was unaware we didn't we had dial up internet at that time. We didn't have Google where we could just search it and information was there.

Adeel Ahmad [11:18]: Yeah. Mm. Mm-hmm. Hey kids, listening, you had to actually dial a number a phone number. That's how you got your internet.

Kayla [11:40]: Yeah. And it's so annoying. And then you can just kick somebody off by picking up the phone. My brother and I did that all the time.

Adeel Ahmad [11:45]: Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, speaking of finished funny, though those sounds are not that great either when you're picking up a phone and there you hear that that that old internet sound. interesting. Maybe that's what started it for everybody, anyways.

Kayla [11:56]: Right. I know. Yeah, I really wanna know it, but that I that could be a possibility. Input yeah.

Adeel Ahmad [12:07]: All that infotech and internet. okay. okay, so okay, so yeah, a little bit of grief and was was the grief counseling after age twelve, like like later on years, or was was did you

Kayla [12:20]: I wouldn't know. I wanna say that was a maybe a few years before that. So it I don't even know if I knew that I was being triggered by these sounds. It could have been before twelve, it could have been thirteen. It was somewhere around that age I started noticing this is really bothering me.

Adeel Ahmad [12:26]: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. I I I I yeah, and and then the the the the grief counseling you were happening was a little bit before that.

Kayla [12:46]: Was the counseling before? Yes. Yeah, that would have been yeah, just a few years prior probably.

Adeel Ahmad [12:48]: Yeah, yeah. Gotcha, gotcha. And and then and so the typing around age twelve was the first sound? Do you like looking back, do you remember anything like, you know, I don't know, elementary school kind of years or whatever?

Kayla [13:06]: I not necessarily. I don't I don't remember having the reactions that I did around that time of the typing, calling my mom, and then noticing how angry it made me. So it could have happened before that, but I d I can't pinpoint that.

Adeel Ahmad [13:10]: Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And so yeah, so okay, so going through school, did you I mean did you go to did you go to any school after after high school? as you're kind of approaching work, like how did you navigate those years, the later teen?

Kayla [13:36]: Yeah. I did I did do some college out of high school. I worked most most of the time, two jobs at a time. I don't I that's why I don't know how to answer that because it really I am s astounded that I have made it this far in life and having to deal with that every single day. So I don't know how I coped.

Adeel Ahmad [13:56]: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Kayla [14:05]: necessarily, but probably the same way I still do. I'll just kinda separate myself and explain to the ones that I that, you know, are close to me like, hey, it's not you. This happens and don't take it personal. So I guess that I guess that would was how I dealt with it.

Adeel Ahmad [14:09]: Yeah. So work was pretty triggering all those jobs.

Kayla [14:26]: I yes, however, I wanna say like I did housekeeping, so I'm running a vacuum, you know, I'm busy. I'm I'm not hearing. I worked in a pet store, I worked in a nursing home. That was a little bit more triggering than the other two. I've worked the you know, several jobs, but just having work to do and staying busy, I didn't find myself in a in a spot where I like had to focus too much on my triggering sounds.

Adeel Ahmad [14:34]: yeah, nice. Okay. Mm-hmm. Right. Right. Gotcha. Okay. Okay. So all right. And then and then and then at some point I I guess you met your partner, father of your daughters, or or just relationships in general. I mean, I I guess that's you know, as a more general question, how did that all work out?

Kayla [15:19]: That is hard, like even even to this day. snoring immediately, you know. It and it's not just the sound. I like I get triggered visually, but with snoring specifically, even if I can't hear someone snoring, I can feel the like the vibration, if obviously if we're in close proximity. So even that is like so much. So it does make things hard. Like I you know, I

Adeel Ahmad [15:24]: Mm. Yeah. Yeah.

Kayla [15:49]: Would like to sit around with my family and eat dinner and be you know, it all just be normal and sleep and all these things. But it and I've had r relationships where my current one is super supportive and mindful of my triggers and I've had some that intentionally would, you know, try to get me get me in ra Yeah, yeah. I well I wish.

Adeel Ahmad [15:52]: Right. Hmm. Hm, that's the end of that.

Kayla [16:17]: That was a lot a growing process, but

Adeel Ahmad [16:17]: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. interesting. Okay, okay. And and then I guess yeah, you I mean your family members now, like your you know, your your your parents and and your brother, are they all still your your I know your mom's passed away. I guess your your father, your brother, when you do family events, are they pretty understanding?

Kayla [16:42]: my brother also passed away, but my father he he is. I feel like just because I'm an adult, obviously I have my own place and my own children, so I don't really get together with them d like too often now that it is just my dad and I, it's not like it was. but my brother did grow out of annoying me with that, I will say. At some point, yeah, he had he had stopped.

Adeel Ahmad [16:45]: Okay, okay. Yeah. Mm. Right, right, right. Right. Right. and and yeah, and so were there any I was gonna the reason one reason I was asking about other family members, have you do you know of any other family members that may have sound sensitivities? Or or other sensitivities.

Kayla [17:26]: I other my mother, I like she was very understanding and most people get annoyed by, you know, lip smacking, like a general annoyance. sh I do feel like to some degree she may have felt what I was feeling because there were times she would text me and be like, This lady is in the waiting room doing this and it I wanna go off on her. so I don't know if that was just to like literally comfort me, but I do feel like she was

Adeel Ahmad [17:38]: Yeah. Interesting.

Kayla [17:56]: experiencing what I was. My med middle child, I she's I haven't looked too much into it, but I think that she has some sort of sound sensitivity. I don't know all of them, but she definitely reacts in a more fearful way than I do. So I think it's a hyper acusis or acus.

Adeel Ahmad [17:57]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, I was gonna that's another it's another common one that comes up. I I think hyperkeces is described more as like everything just seems very loud.

Kayla [18:31]: Right. And yeah, and she also kind of gets a afraid of it too. So I don't know if that's something different or not, but I i I don't feel like it's misophonia, but it she definitely does have some sort of sound sensitivity.

Adeel Ahmad [18:35]: Mm. Right, right. Interesting. And and y yeah, so you mentioned yeah, sensitivity to yeah, to feeling I I guess I I'm thinking, okay, so snoring, and then the but did the vibration sensitivity come a little bit after that? And the visuals and the kind of like your sensitivity to like not you know not just sounds related to snoring, but also just the kind of like the vibration you said.

Kayla [19:04]: What did you I'm sorry, what was that? Yes, yes. I know it sounds crazy, like but yeah, so just see Okay, well good, perfect. Yes, yeah, yeah, everybody can relate, so that's great. yeah, visual visual what's the word I'm looking for? Actions. So you know, I anticipate things before they even happen in the in the response, the nervous system response, the emotional response is already kicking in.

Adeel Ahmad [19:21]: No, it doesn't sound crazy to anyone listening, but yeah. Right. Yeah.

Kayla [19:46]: So seeing someone do with their mouth open or you know, feeling the vibration of the snoring. I've come to realize over the last few years, like my children, if they're like digging their toes into my leg when we're just sitting there, like that drives me crazy. I don't know if that is along the same lines, but it's the same sort of feeling. Not quite as intense as the sounds. But yeah, definitely the

Adeel Ahmad [20:02]: Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Kayla [20:14]: visuals trigger trigger me almost just as much as the actual sounds.

Adeel Ahmad [20:21]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And did that did though did you start to notice that later on? Like the sound was the first. That's that's usually what happens. Yeah.

Kayla [20:26]: yeah. Yeah, the sound was definitely Yeah, because then once I feel you know, I'm no scientist, but just once you know what those sounds create and what creates those sounds, it's kinda like you you know, you are hyper aware and on guard. Yeah, it's pretty awful. Like we like you said, everybody listening knows, thank goodness, but it's pretty awful.

Adeel Ahmad [20:44]: Yeah. Right, right, right. Yeah. Have you met anyone else who has smisophonia?

Kayla [20:55]: It wasn't until very recently and I have not got to talk to her about it, but I was at a friend's house with and another friend was there and she had kind of lashed out at someone for I bel like chewing the she's like, Why are you doing that? And I I immediately was like, my gosh, you understand But we did not go into detail about it. So other than her, honestly, no. Like I wish that I knew.

Adeel Ahmad [21:16]: Yeah. Okay.

Kayla [21:25]: more people just in person you know, in my personal life. I I don't.

Adeel Ahmad [21:29]: Yeah. Are you near I mean you're in Ohio? Are you I I don't know the geography there. Are you near one of the bigger cities like Cleveland, Cincinnati, whatever else there is?

Kayla [21:38]: Mm I'm about two hours away from both of those. I'm about thirty, maybe forty five minutes away from Columbus.

Adeel Ahmad [21:46]: Okay. All right. That's another city. Yeah. Well I yeah, I'm curious if and what kind of community there is. you know that they're around. Missivans are around you.

Kayla [21:54]: Yeah. Now I mean, now on social media I've joined groups and you know, that I mean that has been helpful, but up until c in my world, pretty recently, the you know, there wasn't support.

Adeel Ahmad [21:59]: yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think I yeah, I'm I'm I'd been on the the Midwest Miss Facebook Miss Funny Facebook group. I wonder if there's people from Ohio there. Maybe we'll have to put a post out to see.

Kayla [22:18]: That would be awesome. Yeah. Yeah, 'cause it's like maybe somebody just lives a couple doors down, that'd be great. Yeah, yeah. Right, right. We would know each other, I'm sure.

Adeel Ahmad [22:22]: It absolutely. Yeah, you may have heard them by now, but Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in terms of like so you you said so you want to see some grief counseling, any other you know, comorbid kind of issues that you've that you've noticed that you've had?

Kayla [22:42]: no, like that I was very young for I don't even know like what the extent of my grief was. I just know that my it I think it was a hospice counselor that came for my you know, she was my grandma's was receiving hospice. I think they kinda just came in and like I only saw that therapist maybe a few times. I have done it now as an adult after losing my brother and my mother. Like those those have been you know.

Adeel Ahmad [22:51]: Yeah. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm. Yeah.

Kayla [23:12]: quite quite devastating. So yeah, I have done the yeah, been on counseling for a couple of years now, just based on that.

Adeel Ahmad [23:14]: yeah. Right, right. And yeah. A and and and so now okay, so your your your children are growing up. Are you you know, would you ever see yourself going back to the you know, going back to the workforce and into the lines line stamp of of of sounds.

Kayla [23:41]: Yeah. Yeah, it's like every day I'm like, Can I just get a job? Like can I just get out of here? But yeah, I would like I yeah, I would like to socialize more than I get to right now in that aspect. Yes.

Adeel Ahmad [23:46]: Yeah. Yeah, 'cause I mean well, I was thinking like, I mean maybe now more often there's, you know, work from home opportunities. I'm just wondering like, would you go into an office? Would you subject yourself to you know, to triggers potentially? And you are you kind of thinking about that as you're kind of like you're

Kayla [24:11]: I'm No, I actually haven't even thought about that because I right now it's just that me and a job is not necessarily in my reality. So I guess I haven't. Yeah. So I haven't put much thought into that. But now that you bring that up, I probably won't be thinking about that. Yeah. Yep. No job ever.

Adeel Ahmad [24:23]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well I guess yeah, you're home schooling, yeah. Now now you can re-evaluate your whole life. yeah. Yeah, that would be nice. but like I said, you know, when you if I I you have if you have kids at school and you can have a job working at home, that's an opportunity that wasn't as as prevalent as it was, like as as it is now. It wasn't as prevalent like more than, you know, especially six years ago.

Kayla [24:40]: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Absolutely, yeah. Like I would do I would be able to manage that. I just haven't looked much into it.

Adeel Ahmad [25:07]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So day to day, I guess what are kind of your coping mechanisms? Obviously, you know, you said with your kids, you know, try to explain to things to them, you you know, remove yourself from the situation. I'm I'm you know, Thanksgiving's gonna be here in a couple months. I'm sure you got your your escape plans, but like day to day going, I don't know, out into the world, going out. Groceries, what have you, what do you do?

Kayla [25:41]: in I wanna say like going out in most cases, if it is grocery shop shopping or errands in general, I feel like I have the opportunity to flee. Yes, like I can get out of that situation and I will quickly. Like that that's my first response is for me to get away. with my children like being in the car, if the like eating suckers, chips, all that stuff.

Adeel Ahmad [25:49]: Yeah. Move to another aisle. Yeah. Aisle three. Yeah. Yeah. God.

Kayla [26:10]: They're allowed to do that. They d just not with me near. So you gotta wait till we get home, then you can have your suckers or just go out in the living room, you know, if we are home or wherever I'm at. Just go the go into another room and eat finish eating.

Adeel Ahmad [26:15]: Mm. Today's homeschooling lesson is how to eat a sucker as quietly as possible. I know. Yeah.

Kayla [26:30]: my god, well that I don't know if that works. Like I'm sure other people can relate, however, my mom would do that for me. She would try. Bless poor her heart. She would try to be quiet. And that almost made it worse. Like I don't know if that might just be a personal thing, but

Adeel Ahmad [26:42]: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well no, I think you know, w whatever this is, it's it's a danger seeking sense. And so if somebody's trying to make it quiet and you know that you know that they're trying to do it, I think you're it's like a heat seeking missile. The missile is gonna find it.

Kayla [27:03]: Yeah. Yeah, and I know and that is the th the the thing that everybody knows that normal sounds that wouldn't other people don't register, like w we are on high alert. And it I the science might be there, I'm not sure, but I would like to know like what and then I also like I said, feeling like a hypocrite. I if I chew, I'm not bothered. If I'm typing, doesn't bother me. If I'm tapping

Adeel Ahmad [27:15]: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Kayla [27:32]: which I don't do much of, but if it's not going to bother me. And so that also is like a it brings shame and guilt and and confusion also because I don't understand, you know, the neurological reasons for it.

Adeel Ahmad [27:37]: Yeah. Yeah. Well when do you when you when you are hyperactivated, how do you how do you find yourself calming down? you know, when it's almost too late to leave a situation? Are you kind of ruminating for, you know, hours, days?

Kayla [28:07]: Right. Yeah I try well no not days, but I well I feel like yeah it's been at least since twelve years old. I I am lucky enough to have understanding people around me for the most part. I tend to walk away if I can without even saying anything. If I can't walk away and I like

Adeel Ahmad [28:14]: Years and Yeah.

Kayla [28:39]: I try not to give the looks, but I it's uncontrollable. my gosh, that yes. And I feel so bad, but man, what are you doing? Like why are you doing that right now? and I have like kind of lashed out on my partner a couple times, being like, stop without trying to ask nicely first.

Adeel Ahmad [28:43]: We call it the glare. We call it the glare. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kayla [29:04]: 'Cause you know, I'm just trying to ignore it and wait and hope that he stops doing this or that and then a couple of times it's come out. But I've never been violent with anyone or as much as that you know, that feeling goes through our bodies. Yeah. Earbuds are my best friend. I earbuds are

Adeel Ahmad [29:10]: Yeah. Right. Right, right. What are your earbuds of choice?

Kayla [29:30]: like what brand? Right now I have skull candies, yeah, so that they seem to be working. and I like the A L all tech Lansing little micro ones.

Adeel Ahmad [29:31]: Yeah, yeah, I guess w yeah, with brand or tip. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Very popular. Yeah. Ye Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they don't they don't have I mean, I don't I I don't think those have noise cancelling, but you don't really I I don't know, you don't really need it if you got the right sounds going in. W are you usually listening to music or do you have like some kind of white away sometimes?

Kayla [29:51]: No it's mostly podcasts or I don't wanna say lectures, a lot about psychology, a lot of I love music too, but it it d it just varies, I guess, a little bit of everything.

Adeel Ahmad [30:03]: Mm. Mm-hmm. I love music too. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah, interesting. Okay. Okay. Yeah, no, that's a that's a classic, classic coping mechanism. And speaking of coping mechanism, you were something came to mind earlier with all the yeah, all the different triggers. It mimicry, mimicry is a

Kayla [30:23]: Yeah.

Adeel Ahmad [30:35]: common coping mechanism. Do you ever try that to kind of like 'cause you were saying you feel bad that you're making the sound. So you're you're in the doing the same action. A lot of people find that like chewing when they're being triggered by another person's chewing makes their mystify feel better.

Kayla [30:56]: I have noticed that I've done that. I wouldn't say like it's my go to and it usually comes out really crappy like I meant you know, like mocking more like instead of mimicking, but so no, not necessarily. But if I ca if I cannot get away from the sound that would probably be what I would resort to, like being louder than them.

Adeel Ahmad [31:03]: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, a lot of people independently come up with the mimicry. That's why that's why that's why I asked. And you're right, it does it does often come out badly.

Kayla [31:30]: Yeah, yeah. So then the yeah. How do I explain that one? When they're not doing anything wrong in the first place, like then it's like how why am I mocking you like that when I know you're not doing something wrong?

Adeel Ahmad [31:34]: Yeah, yeah. Yes, that's when things escalate even more quickly. very cool. Okay. yeah, no, this is yeah, cla classic kind of yeah, kind of classic. Do you do you do you so I mean you're listening to a lot of psychology? Are you learning about anything that's kind of like informing your

Kayla [31:44]: Yeah. Yeah.

Adeel Ahmad [32:06]: understanding of misophonia from these podcasts. And are you maybe, you know, considering going to see some some kind of therapist specifically about misophonia?

Kayla [32:19]: I have not looked into that, but I absolutely would love if there were someone I could go to that specializes in misophonia. Because it was not for me well I dropped my phone. I go through stages of research, you know, and then stop and then just deal with it like I have for years and then I'll be like, what's going on now? Like what what's new? so I have not looked into it therapists.

Adeel Ahmad [32:23]: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Kayla [32:47]: But I mean I would be willing absolutely to speak with someone but and yeah, so as far as the psychology stuff, I guess it's just a general like human consciousness type you know, type of interest, but also misophonia.

Adeel Ahmad [32:51]: Right, right. Mm-hmm. Right, right. Well I mean these are all related, so it's it's the it's a psychological phenomena.

Kayla [33:08]: Yes. Yeah, and I am getting more into that as regarding misophonia and like what's actually happening, what the process is in our brain, you know, w why we're receiving these sounds as a threat. So to me that's all fairly new, but it's e exciting at the same time.

Adeel Ahmad [33:22]: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Cool. Yeah. And and and how did you I mean, how did you find out about the the podcast this pot particular podcast? Was it was it kind of like I don't know, your interest in searching for psychology podcasts about this funny.

Kayla [33:42]: well it was specifically misophonia, but I think what had caught my attention right away when I had searched Misophonia was there was an episode with is it Jeff Gold with the documentary, Quiet Please. Okay. I I think that's yeah, that's what captured, you know, my attention for this specific podcast.

Adeel Ahmad [33:47]: Yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, of course. Yes, yes, quiet place. Yeah, no ahead of that was a great conversation. I think wait, is he in ho Ohio now? I think he might be. I think he moved from New York or New Jersey, wherever he was. he may have moved. Yeah, he may have moved again, but if I remember, I no, I mean I mean no, we'll we'll make it happen. Well, I'll I'll reach out to him and see see where he is. great guy, great guy. and

Kayla [34:18]: I didn't know that. Well get have him get a hold of me.

Adeel Ahmad [34:40]: That would be a great way to kind of like launch a lepicenter of of misophonia in Ohio.

Kayla [34:45]: It w that documentary was the first thing that I had seen and could relate to anyone else and I bawled like a baby, of course. Yeah, I'm like, my like they get it, they get it and it was heart it's heartbreaking.

Adeel Ahmad [34:52]: Mm-hmm. Hey, me too. Yeah, high five. I couldn't watch it in one season. I couldn't I not one season. I couldn't watch it in one sitting. It took me like three times.

Kayla [35:06]: I think I watched five times just in a row. Like finally somebody. Yeah. That was amazing for me. Like that really was the the very first you know, thing that made me realize I I'm not crazy. It's not just me.

Adeel Ahmad [35:09]: Yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And and yeah, I mean props to that, that yeah, to Jeffrey and that that documentary that that that inspired that's partly part part of what inspired this podcast too. Kind of wanted to have more stories like what he showed there. So that's awesome. Yeah. well well cool kill it, kill it. I mean,

Kayla [35:40]: Yeah. Which is amazing. Like yeah.

Adeel Ahmad [35:47]: Yeah, this has been great. kinda almost wanna wanna run off and fire an email to to but anything else you kinda wanna share about your story, your your kind of learnings.

Kayla [36:00]: I not on I don't know. Like everybody listening kind of knows what you know, but if there if I I I guess with anything in life that you don't experience, it would be cool to like try it out for a day. So like, you know, if somebody could just just maybe ten minutes just feel like what it is I deal with because I do think that someone who doesn't experience that

Adeel Ahmad [36:05]: We went through a lot of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm.

Kayla [36:28]: has a misconception, you know, assumes we're overreacting and it is far from overreaction. You know, it is it it's horror. Like it's even talking about right now, I can feel the anxiety building, like, my goodness.

Adeel Ahmad [36:31]: Right. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah, that's a that'll be an interesting yeah, like a an an art exhibit or something like yeah, here. We'll give you the sound and then and then we'll point a gun at your head and your body will be so afraid and we'll it'll be like rushing a roulette. my god. Yeah.

Kayla [36:50]: I mean y maybe one day. Right. Right. You're either gonna yeah. Are you a are you gonna fight or are you gonna f f you know, flee? Which one are you?

Adeel Ahmad [37:10]: Yeah, that is a yeah. That is a modern mod modern art exhibit right there.

Kayla [37:13]: Mm. Well they have VR and like the haptic suits. Maybe maybe somehow we could you get that. Not that I wish that upon anyone. I do not wish this upon anyone, like at all.

Adeel Ahmad [37:26]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. L yeah, I guess we have to say that, but

Kayla [37:28]: Yeah. Like I do not. So there is that. However, you know, just to be able to understand then, you know, I think that'd be cool.

Adeel Ahmad [37:33]: Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. cool. Yeah, no, Kelly, this is yeah, again, this this has been great. and yeah, wish you the best luck in coping things. But I mean sounds like your your family's on its way to understanding and and yeah, hopefully they will they will be you know, beacons in the world and hopefully the next generation will be a little bit more understanding.

Kayla [37:49]: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully. I mean my girls will spread awareness. I do know that. Just based on what you know, what they deal with from mom. So I'll be like, Don't do that. Don't do that.

Adeel Ahmad [38:10]: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's great. All right. and cut and that's kind of how I know when to kinda yeah stop. Let me hit the stop on the