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Adeel Ahmad [0:00]: Welcome, but cool. Well Audrey, welcome to the podcast. Great to have you here.
Audrey [0:06]: Yeah, thanks for having me. It's great to be here.
Adeel Ahmad [0:08]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, I like I like to start things off if if if people want to share kind of like roughly where they're located and and maybe a little bit about what they do.
Audrey [0:17]: Yeah, so I'm born and raised in Arizona. I'm currently in school. I'm actually a senior, gonna graduate soon, and I'm studying English, creative writing, and yeah, I I think that's it.
Adeel Ahmad [0:33]: Yeah, no nice. I you know, I used to get a lot of students, but I don't I'm not sure I've had too many students in a while. So yeah, it'd be good to get a get a read on especially a s yeah, we're we're here like in September, so I I I would assume school has kind of started for you for you over there.
Audrey [0:47]: Yeah, a couple of weeks at
Adeel Ahmad [0:49]: Nice, okay. So yeah, but I don't know, I guess let's talk about kinda what is the situation like now. What's life like for for Audrey? Are you plagued with misophonia now, living with roommates or what's what's going on?
Audrey [1:04]: Yeah, so I am actually living alone, which I like I live alone particularly because of misophonia. And that has just been such a transformation in my life compared to when I was living at my house with my siblings and my parents versus living alone in my own space and having the safety and peace of mind of walking through my door and knowing there's not gonna be anyone in the kitchen or anyone typing. That is just truly transformed my life. So yeah, I think I will say it has gotten a lot better as I've gotten older. You know, the more independent I get, the more autonomy I have and freedom I have over my life and my choices. It has definitely helped. I think when I look back to like middle school and high school versus now, the change is quite dramatic and dramatic in a good way. Like it really has gotten better. It's not cured by any means. It's not a hundred percent better, but yeah, it does get better.
Adeel Ahmad [2:05]: Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure. yeah, a lot of people say when when you get that agency you're you're able to you even a while you're triggered sometimes if you can at least look forward to something. Look forward to finding your own peaceful space. and do you have like I don't know, do you have like are you sharing walls? Do you have neighbors? Do you have anything that could, you know, potentially be an issue?
Audrey [2:35]: Yeah, actually not really. I think I don't really hear my neighbors, which is a good thing for someone with zophonia, obviously. I would say my biggest concern with day to day life right now is just school. I'm an in person student and yeah, my classrooms, like people have their laptops out, sometimes people eat or have gum and I've had I think, yeah, a full decade of experience with that. So
Adeel Ahmad [2:41]: Yeah.
Audrey [3:04]: I know the ropes, but the thing about misophonia, which as you know, is you could know what to expect and that doesn't make it any easier.
Adeel Ahmad [3:14]: Right, right. Yeah, yeah. That that surprise will will can kinda grab you and and then you can't get out of your mind. well so I mean people so if you're yeah, if you've kind of like been been in college for a few years, do you what I don't know, what do your friends say like do they know? Do you get support around at at school?
Audrey [3:20]: Yeah. Yeah, so I keep saying this, but truly the older I get the more comfortable I am advocating for myself and misophonia. I want my friends to know what this is and what my triggers are and how they can help. And I'm lucky enough to have really great, attentive and compassionate people in my life. They ask questions, they're very concerned and I think there's this misconception with misophonia. People
Adeel Ahmad [3:40]: Yeah.
Audrey [4:03]: can kind of come at it from a place of fear if they don't understand it, which makes sense, but I welcome questions. There's so much misconceptions and stereotypes about misophonia. So any chance I get to just write the narrative is very important to me. And yeah, I have gotten a lot more comfortable t talking to my professors, telling them what accommodations I use and require. my friends, yeah, we like Nobody choose come around me. That's just a hard stop. No, that's just not gonna happen. And I've I've gotten very lucky. It wasn't always like this. Like when I was younger I had people in my life who weren't anywhere near as kind or compassionate about it. And yeah, I at this point in my life I can only be ver I'm very grateful with what I have right now.
Adeel Ahmad [4:35]: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Did you when you talk your professors, did did you have to go through your school's I don't I forget like whatever accommodation five four plan or or anything like that? Or just kinda openly went up to them like like human to human and yeah.
Audrey [5:12]: Yeah. So I go through my school's accommodation program, and that gives me kind of the legal and more like more official protections that I need. But on the first day of classes, usually I'll go up to my professor after class, give them like a two minute rundown just so they hear it from me and again, because it is so misunderstood and unknown, like many people I encounter just have never heard of it.
Adeel Ahmad [5:28]: Yeah.
Audrey [5:45]: a little crash course in it will just help them understand and really take that surprise out of it. Like, why is she wearing AirPods? Why is she leaving class? Why is she moving her seat? Just to just so they know me better and yeah, 'cause it does affect the way I learn and the way I situate myself in a classroom space. So the more knowledge they have, the better the situation will go for everybody.
Adeel Ahmad [6:10]: Yeah. How how did you f find out it had a name?
Audrey [6:14]: I remember this so vividly. I was it was spring break. I was eleven years old in seventh grade. And my family and I went down to Mexico and it didn't start as like this incredible trigger. I was just more observant of the fact that people eep kind of loudly and kind of obnoxiously and it's it's not great. And I just didn't love the way it made me feel. That's how it started. And my mom just took notice to that. And she noticed more and more I would find excuses to not sit at the dinner table and be very agitated when I did sit at the dinner table. And she took me to see a psychologist and the psychologist was able to diagnose me pretty quickly. And having a name was the first step of any of everything. It made me I wasn't crazy. I wasn't in my head about this. This is a
Adeel Ahmad [6:55]: Mm.
Audrey [7:11]: Actual thing and yeah, having a label to it really made me feel better. I could point to something and I could understand it better.
Adeel Ahmad [7:21]: Yeah, so and and did they offer any kind of advice, treatment kind of
Audrey [7:28]: Yeah, so I've actually been with that same psychologist to like I'm still with that same psychologist. So we have a great rapport. He knows me very well. He knows we're like friends if like we're friends in the terms of misophonia. He it's familiar. And so we talk about coping strategies. We talk about inventions like new noise filtering or noise cancelling, earplu earplugs, stuff like that. That's there's always something new on the market. And in terms of coping strategies, we focus a lot on mindfulness. I practice like guided meditations and mindfulness at least a couple times a week. I would like to do that every day, but I have noticed that has transformed my life, not only with misophonia, but just my general nervous system. Bringing it down makes me able to confront triggering situations. at like from a more peaceful place. I'm not already at a hundred, I'm more like sixty and I can I have the bandwidth to deal with more.
Adeel Ahmad [8:35]: can recover a little faster and not it's not festering for days. Like so interesting. And and were you did you say your mom your mom took you to see psychologist were I mean, is this psychologist talk to you about just misophonia or are there other maybe other comorbid issues? You don't have to get it if you don't want to. Just kinda curious if yeah.
Audrey [8:39]: Absolutely. Yeah. No, it's all good. yeah, so I was seeing that psychologist since I was eleven. At around fourteen or fifteen, I was diagnosed with depression and obsessive compulsive disorder and general anxiety. I think it's kind of a perfect storm of like all four of those things. Yeah, definitely. So yeah, and I
Adeel Ahmad [9:16]: Yeah, not uncommon. Right. some mix of those.
Audrey [9:23]: When I was living at home, I had a great life at home. It w a great family. I love them so much, but obviously they're your biggest triggers. And I felt so isolated and so trapped in my own house. I would have to retreat to my room when anyone was ever in the kitchen. And it that's that experience twenty times a day, every day, just eats away at you. And they all kind of made the other one worse. having depression made the misophonia worse. Having misophonia made the depression worse with everything. so yeah, getting those diagnoses, it's made it easier to get help, professional help, help through medication, everything like that. And yeah, I think in regards to everything, they've gotten a lot better. Like as the older I get, the better it gets. There's more
Adeel Ahmad [9:55]: Mm.
Audrey [10:21]: scientific breakthroughs, there's more understanding of it. I feel so much more comfortable advocating for myself and my needs, and I feel secure in what I need. I'm no longer afraid or insecure about this stuff.
Adeel Ahmad [10:38]: Yeah, yeah. No, it's interesting. And then yeah, yeah, I'm I'm curious, yeah, as you were you getting treatment for the you know, the c I'd say the the collection of issues starting at around age fourteen, did you find like things like medication were that were probably prescribed for something else? Were they affecting the misophonia and you know and were you know these the different treatments that you were getting were they Were they also helping each other, not just kind of, you know, affecting or making things worse?
Audrey [11:11]: Yeah, so the first medication I tried, I did not it wasn't the great the best fit for me because I found myself feeling very numb to all emotions, good and bad, and just neutral emotions. And I think and you would agree to this, like everyone with misophonia recognizes how I think cathartic it can be and important it can be to feel the bad emotions and to not run away from them, but to just let them feel.
Adeel Ahmad [11:21]: Mm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Audrey [11:41]: in your body, in your mind. And so that numbness was kind of confusing, I think is the best word to describe it. I would be triggered and I would think, why am I not crying? Why am I not expressing these bad emotions that I feel but I can't express them? And that was yeah, it was confusing, but I got on a much better medication for my specific needs. And yeah, I'm able to
Adeel Ahmad [11:57]: Yeah, yeah.
Audrey [12:10]: be a lot more regulated but when I do need or want to feel my like bad emotions, when I just need to cry or need to vent, I'm able to do that and I'm able to feel safe and secure when I do that.
Adeel Ahmad [12:19]: Mm-hmm. Mm. Mm hmm. Interesting. yeah, so so you're you're mentioning yeah, your your mom was your yeah, your mom you know was a identified it and and and no and noticed it. That's that's awesome. Did you do you have you said you had siblings too? I'm gonna kinda curious were they also a trigger or how you know, were they supportive or not?
Audrey [12:45]: Yeah, I have two sisters. I'm the middle one. I they're my best friends. Like we are all so close and I did get really lucky with my family. I mean, they all f like all four of them, my mom and dad and my sisters, they're all triggers to differing extents, but yeah, I just could not have asked for better sisters. Like they they've done the work to understand misophonia, they've done the research, they've listened to me.
Adeel Ahmad [13:00]: Mm-hmm. Really? Wow, yeah.
Audrey [13:14]: They advocate for me. Like when I visit them, they tell their friends, No gum. They protect me and I just I appreciate it so much. I really do.
Adeel Ahmad [13:20]: Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's that's amazing. and and from from an early age I'm I'm assuming as well. It seems your family was has been kind of supportive. what about and at school, like around that time or or even a little bit before? What was was school kinda noisy or or even home life?
Audrey [13:28]: Yeah. Yeah, school was kind of awful. Like I did in person school through my senior year of high school. I always say that if I had another year of high school what I would have done online, I was just kind of it was just unsustainable at that point for me to go to school and just be miserable all day. so yeah, and at that time in life, I was like, you're a teenager and you're insecure and you're going through these weird changes and I none of that really helped the misophonia, obviously. but yeah, it was super noisy every day. I mean gum, like every other kid was chewing gum, they were typing, they lunch, they had lunch period and people were snacking during class and it was all I just couldn't catch a break.
Adeel Ahmad [14:40]: Yeah, yeah. And and and th I mean that's in high school about like in elementary or or middle school, I'm assuming it's there were probably different schools was was the environment were things kinda noisy for you basically as you were kind of like smaller, younger.
Audrey [14:55]: Yeah. Yeah, elementary school, I don't really remember any experience with misophonia. middle school is where I really start to remember it. I yeah, middle school was an interesting time because that's when I developed it, that's when I got the diagnosis and I didn't f I was
Adeel Ahmad [15:02]: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Audrey [15:19]: So like I was 12 years old, I didn't feel comfortable or confident going up to my teachers and telling them I I need a no gum rule or something like that. And I've also found that that's just hard to enforce with unruly middle schoolers. Like they're not gonna listen to that. which is the unfortunate truth. But yeah, I I kind of laughed it off most times. Like it was very painful, but I put on this mask. I
Adeel Ahmad [15:26]: Yeah. Yeah.
Audrey [15:48]: It like, ha ha, that person's chewing gum. I feel awful, but I'm just gonna laugh it off so nobody really understands it.
Adeel Ahmad [15:54]: Right. Yeah. And I'm curious, you know, some people some people come on if you've heard the podcast and it's usually like something something they have to be vigilant about around around the time where they kind of kinda develop or soon a soon before that noticing misophonia. I'm curious if there was any kind of like something you have to be vigilant about or or some some tense or stressful moment around the family or or at school that you that you remember.
Audrey [16:26]: Yeah, I really remember the first Thanksgiving I had with Misophonia because my family has a very massive Thanksgiving, like forty people for some reason. and that's just kind of unequivocally like the worst day of the year. But I remember that day because it was a few months a past my official diagnosis and my immediate family knew about it, my grandparents knew about it, but
Adeel Ahmad [16:36]: Wow, yeah.
Audrey [16:54]: Obviously that number of people, the in-laws, the extended family, they don't know about it. And that was fine with me. I was like, I don't really want everybody to know know this very intimate personal thing about me yet. so that day was spent just I was constantly in motion. I was walking around. I was just trying to keep myself busy. If I helped my mom in the kitchen, if I talked to people, I could avoid it. Obviously that wasn't true. but yeah, I remember that first that first day of Thanksgiving was very formative.
Adeel Ahmad [17:29]: Yeah. So big yeah, big Thanksgiving. obvious obviously like a a big family. I'm curious, since then have you has anyone else is anyone else in your in your family have misophonia or sound sensitivities or
Audrey [17:45]: Yeah. So my I'm trying to think of the relation. I think my cousin's wife, she has misophonia and she is I think in her thirties and she has expressed the fact that, you know, it does get better with age. It doesn't get cured. No, but it gets better and seeing that
Adeel Ahmad [17:50]: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Audrey [18:07]: has given me a lot of hope because I can see her and she's socializing and she's able to talk to people and for so long I felt like I just couldn't do that without just exploding. And I know it's still a struggle for her. I I don't know how it couldn't be, but seeing her able to have kids and live a life, a good life, has been very inspirational.
Adeel Ahmad [18:17]: Yeah. Yeah. A and and your and your parents obviously they're they're on misophonia. I'm just kinda curious, kinda a little bit, I don't know, what they do, kind of their their their backgrounds, where they where they kinda came from. Was it also kind of like a pretty chill childhood and and life?
Audrey [18:46]: Yeah. Yeah, so they were born they were both born outside of Arizona but raised in Arizona and they met in law school. They're both lawyers. I am actually at ASU too. We have three Arizona State University people with a family, but yeah, I think they both had siblings. I'm close with their with my aunts and uncles and grandparents and
Adeel Ahmad [19:09]: Mm.
Audrey [19:19]: Yeah, I think their childhoods were pretty from to my knowledge, pretty similar to mine. And I think that formed the way they reacted to my misophonia with a lot of compassion because gosh I've just heard horror stories of and I've just thought about like how Yeah. my gosh. Yeah. Like how differently it could have gone for me if they weren't the people that they are. And
Adeel Ahmad [19:22]: Yeah. yeah. That's why I started the podcast is yeah, it's a lot of odd stories.
Audrey [19:48]: My grandparents on both sides, they're getting older, they're in their eighties, but they still like they still remember and it that really shows me like even if you're eighty five and your memory may be declining and everything like that, it's not impossible to have this awareness. 'Cause the awareness can truly like change your life. It can.
Adeel Ahmad [20:16]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, for sure. That sounds amazing. And yeah, hope hope Thanksgiving in a couple of months will be will also will also be a good experience. so you I mean you mentioned you're doing English and creative writing. Has has writing or anything creative or artistic been something that you've thought about incorporating misophonia into?
Audrey [20:22]: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I recently, so it was two years ago, I wrote an essay about the theme of the other essays, which was like about Christmas and the holidays. And my Christmas celebration is a lot smaller than Thanksgiving, but it's still like fifteen people, definitely bustling. And yeah, I was just writing about the experience of like, okay, when everybody gets their plates and has their dinner, I'm gonna go to my room and I'm gonna put on my headphones and I'm gonna
Adeel Ahmad [20:52]: Mm-hmm.
Audrey [21:12]: blast some music and just be alone. And that's been my reality for exactly 10 years. But it doesn't get it gets easier. It doesn't get that much easier. so I was writing about that and I found it very cathartic. I was able to express this these feelings that I that not many people on planet Earth can truly understand.
Adeel Ahmad [21:13]: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Audrey [21:40]: but I was able to express them in the way that I it felt mo most honest and sincere to me. I love writing. I find it's just like truly my passion. So being able to write about that and tell people about it. Like people told me after, this is my first time hearing about misophonia. Thank you for teaching me about this. It was very it was just a good feeling.
Adeel Ahmad [22:02]: Yeah. No, it's great. I I I'm huge supporter of yeah, people using using creativity and art to express misfortune. I think it's a it's a massively under explored land emotional landscape. 'cause yeah, it's not it's not just about yeah the there's many layers beyond just being annoyed by certain sounds that are that are involved here. So and then and on top of it with you know all the other
Audrey [22:20]: Definitely. Yeah, absolutely.
Adeel Ahmad [22:34]: issues like you mentioned before that can kind of like modulate it and vice versa. very interesting. So what do you so what do you so you're in you're in yeah you're you're in your program. Do you know what you want to I guess do with the rest of your life when you what do you want to be when you grow up kind of thing and and yeah not not just that but like like you you understand now that agency kind of helps with handling misophonia. Are you thinking about how you kinda wanna like shape the rest of your life, your environment.
Audrey [23:07]: Yeah, definitely. So I def I know I want to keep writing. I would love to work in fashion and art spheres, I always say. a magazine like the New Yorker is would be like awesome to work at, obviously. That really aligns with my craft and what I write about. I like dabbling in fiction and non fiction, so and then obviously with the writing world it is a concern like, okay, if I have a job
Adeel Ahmad [23:15]: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Audrey [23:35]: a copywriting job or something. Do I have to go into the office? Will there be people typing them in the cubicle next to me? So yeah, the the more like I step into my profession, the more that is a concern because, you know, I've been in school all my life. I know how to deal with school and classrooms. I don't necessarily know how to deal with an office space. So yeah, I think about that, but I think there is this almost radical freedom I have because
Adeel Ahmad [23:40]: right. Mm-hmm.
Audrey [24:04]: I'm not yeah, it's a it's a workspace, but it doesn't have those those same constraints that a classroom usually does have. And I think college is the good is a good like bridge point because in college you're an adult and you're more you're just a more autonomous being and you're professors, there's this mutual respect. And I think that's been a good immersion. into what the workforce will hopefully look like for me. I'll be able to talk to my bosses. I'll be able to get the accommodations I need, if that means working from home, if that means hybrid work. I'll be able to do that. I know it's not that simple, but I do have this maybe if it's like a naive hope, but I do have this hope. 'cause I just wanna be able to do what I love to do and be able to do what I love to do and not be in pain.
Adeel Ahmad [25:02]: Yeah. yeah, no, I mean, I yeah, you're I think going I think I think going into even if you have to go into the office usually it's not like a classroom where you necessarily have to like stay at the same desk. Like you can actually move around. you can we're probably wear headphones. but but this is what I why what I like to do well, I don't go to the office anymore, but but I you know tell people you c you have your desk but then you can Like in a col like in college, you can move to the cafeteria or or wherever it is. So you have a little bit you still have agency. and and that's not even including the whole hybrid thing of being able to obviously stay at home or remote. So yeah, if you if you think about that intentionally, I think I think it's totally doable. You just have to deal with you know, if people want to have lunch at their desks and and whatnot. But you know, I again you I I usually moved at that point.
Audrey [25:37]: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Adeel Ahmad [25:59]: point and I don't like to have lunch with other people at work. That was just yeah, that was never my thing.
Audrey [26:00]: Yeah. Yeah.
Adeel Ahmad [26:08]: But yeah, that's that's very cool. And yeah, no, I hope you're yeah, though I there's a another guest, Kyle is actually a cartoonist for The New Yorker, occasionally. So I don't know, maybe we can connect you guys and and or or or start your own magazine, which might be kind of misphonia focused. Who knows? Who knows what the future the other thing I was gonna mention is though, as as you're getting older
Audrey [26:22]: cool. Yeah. Awesome.
Adeel Ahmad [26:38]: you know, as you get older you're gonna be around people whose average age is older and they'll just probably they'll have more time to hear about misophonia, whether they have it themselves or otherwise. So I'm hoping, you know, as you get older and get into the workforce, you won't be the only person who has heard of misophonia and that might be helpful as well. It's gotta be tough for like, you know, a confused middle schooler or high schooler like these kids, most of won't know what it is. but you you know, as you're getting older, hopefully you'll you'll you'll find even more people that know about
Audrey [27:15]: Mm-hmm.
Adeel Ahmad [27:16]: And maybe they've read some of your work. Yeah. Very cool. And and how do you you know, you mentioned f like friends are very supportive, like I don't know, like has it come up in like relationships and whatnot? And how do you kind of like navigate it if you've ever had to?
Audrey [27:18]: Yeah, that's the goal. Yeah, so I've been with my partner for almost five years actually. So we actually met in high school and started dating in high school. And obviously, like we've talked about high school was a very just tricky time. and I told her about it pretty like much off the bat 'cause I was I she was obviously very important to me and I just had this duty to both of us to be honest about this thing that p like I deal with every single day. And like most of my like like all my other friends and people in my life, she was very she wanted to learn more about it. She wanted to see what she could do to help me. And again that just that basic compassion goes so far. And yeah, five years in, we don't live together, but we're starting to think about living together. And I have thought about like how will that look when we're out in the kitchen. cooking together and you know it's yeah yeah but yeah because we've cook we've been together for a few years now we've gotten so comfortable with each other's rhythms and each other's needs. we have gotten into this routine of like, okay, if you're gonna do the dishes, it's like my family, like if you're gonna do the dishes, you tell me and you'd be quiet as a mouse or else
Adeel Ahmad [28:35]: And you're holding a knife and you're like Not to put a dark spin on it, but yes. Yeah.
Audrey [29:02]: I will take over into the dishes. Like you tell me when you're gonna eat, you maybe eat in the other room. all these accommodations that have been so intrinsic to my family, I've had to introduce to this relationship. And it's just second nature now, which is something I'm very grateful for.
Adeel Ahmad [29:22]: Amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's great. I mean, no you know, knowing your partner for five years and you're obviously thinking about it now, I mean, that's as that's very intentional and a very mature way of mature way of entering it. So yeah, I know wish wish you both the but the in both the best. and yeah, the have you thought about like yeah, I don't know, the home environment? Do you think of
Audrey [29:33]: Yeah.
Adeel Ahmad [29:51]: I guess sometimes you don't have a choice. But are you kind of like making any I don't know logistical decisions about neighborhoods and and whatnot?
Audrey [30:00]: Yeah, I think because we're so young, we're both in our early twenties, we're looking at an apartment. I think we are both gonna graduate soon, so we're talking about where we wanna live in the future, do we wanna spend a few years elsewhere?
Adeel Ahmad [30:17]: Would you say Arizona is a pretty a pretty good place overall from for Misophonia?
Audrey [30:22]: Say so. I think yeah, I've definitely had some bad experiences with it, like especially in my high school. I was seeing like a very, very bad experience overall, but a very particular experience too. but I kinda just consider that like luck of the draw. But Arizona itself, yeah, I think it's pretty good. I when it's nice out and it's not a hundred degrees, I like to go on hikes and walks and everything and I can find that just being in the outdoors very ground game. Absolutely. Like especially if I get up early enough seeing the sunrise or the sunset. being outside where no one's chewing gum and no one's doing anything is very important to me.
Adeel Ahmad [30:54]: Yeah, those beautiful deserts and mountains and stuff are there. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, it's good to think about. d I just I mentioned that because the episode I'm about to publish is is someone who moved specifically to a a particular state, and and then it turned out it was like it's been a kind of a disaster. for for one for one reason in particular, for th some they happen to be huge on cars and fireworks and so
Audrey [31:30]: What else?
Adeel Ahmad [31:39]: well th this this this location. So so yeah, so sometimes you you never know. So you know, America can seem kind of like everyone's you know, you get the same everywhere, but there are micro cultural differences sometimes. So but yeah, I mean sometimes when I'm triggered I I'm like I wish man, I wish I could just run into the desert. If you're in Arizona, that's that's it's right there. So
Audrey [31:45]: That's it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I g the vastness of it definitely can help.
Adeel Ahmad [32:09]: Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. cool. Yeah. I mean so I wanna ask well, I wanna ask like is there anything else you want to share but first I wanna ask like what kind of stuff do you like to write about you said you said like fashion, whatnot, and fiction and nonfiction. yeah, just kinda like what what kind of things do you like to write about even other than misphonia?
Audrey [32:32]: Yeah, so I I write I mean I write a lot. I write for school and outside of school. I would say most of my non fiction work pertains to fashion, through a critical lens and I love
Adeel Ahmad [32:48]: What do you mean by critical lens like cr critiquing f outfits and whatnot, or critiquing the fashion industry?
Audrey [32:57]: Yeah, I would say critiquing the fashion industry. It's an industry that I love so much and I care deeply about, but it's got a fair share of flaws, obviously. And I write for a magazine that calls itself like the anti fashion fashion magazine. It's very cool. It works to I don't know, like it's a great magazine. It just it's very counter cultural and talks to a lot of working class people who are working in fashion and not just like the designers at Paris Fashion Week. So I love the philosophy of like democratizing fashion. so I write about that a lot. I like writing about literature and for so I write a lot of nonfiction, like cultural stuff, lots of stuff to do with like feminism and societal understanding.
Adeel Ahmad [33:49]: Yeah, when you mention critical 'cause I've been getting really into critical theory and to all those, you know, the everyone from Adorno, Frankfurt School to, you know, Cap and Lew and and because there's not just a it's not just a s social well, I mean it's all social social justice, but there's like a there's critical psychology which affects misophonia, in a big way. critical psychiatry. Also I'm into critical finance and whatnot. So
Audrey [33:54]: yeah.
Adeel Ahmad [34:19]: But yeah, cr critique of fashion obviously straddles a lot of this a lot of this as well. So yeah, interested to hear what you well yeah, what what you like to what what what what you're passionate about.
Audrey [34:23]: Yeah. Yeah, well, it's funny you mentioned the critical psychology because for one of my classes we read an Edgar Allan Poe story and did a what is it called? A psychological critical analysis of it. And I don't know if you saw, but the New Yorker a few months ago had a great misophonia article and it references Edgar Allan Poe's The Telltale Heart. And I thought that was a very interesting way to
Adeel Ahmad [34:45]: Mm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Audrey [35:02]: kind of reference how culture and pop culture even can talk about misophonia, even if it's not overt.
Adeel Ahmad [35:11]: Right, right. I think yeah, Telltale Heart is is yeah, that that that's one that that comes up a lot. I think that's the that's like the the beating heart under under the floorboards, I believe, right? Yeah.
Audrey [35:19]: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think so.
Adeel Ahmad [35:29]: Yeah, very cool. yeah, you know, that that that's yeah, that's interesting. I I love to yeah, I love to see how you know critical there's there's also actually I actually to me when I when I start to look at Ed Edward Alan Edward Allan Poe, I found that they they I don't know if you've heard of the the House of Usher or the Hoff the Fall of the House of Usher. I thought that that actually had
Audrey [35:53]: Yeah.
Adeel Ahmad [35:56]: a little bit more to do at least at least to me, that resonated with me a little bit more on Misophonia because the you know the main character was just there was something obviously off about him and it seemed like the house the the house itself kind of represented his psychological state and he was just very he was also very sensitive to sounds and so it it the whole story kind of to me kind of seem to represent his I don't know, his dec his downfall, his decay. so and there's movie versions of it as well that that I don't know just really kind of ear eerily resonate the you know the what could happen with misophonia if if it kind of r runs amok and you're not able to regulate your nervous system.
Audrey [36:34]: Yeah. Yeah, I think that's so important because that's a part of misophonia that I find myself hesitant to talk about. It's just really what the reality of what goes on internally and psychologically. Like it's not like, I'm really mad right now. That's not what I feel, that's not what I think. it's ver a lot more visceral than that. And
Adeel Ahmad [37:09]: Yeah.
Audrey [37:14]: Yeah, I think the house itself, like in that story, it's very interesting because a house in a space can be very triggering. It can even be triggering with PTSD, like this space is where a lot of bad stuff has happened and I've had a lot of bad experiences and just entering that physical threshold can be very scary.
Adeel Ahmad [37:27]: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. there was something yeah, you mentioned you mentioned the New York article. and speak speaking of critiques, there was there was I had some I had some critique I'll I'll admit I had some critiques about that that article. w one of one of and this is the first time I'm mentioning it publicly, so I I don't mind I don't mind critici I can I can criticize this particular point a lot.
Audrey [37:48]: Yeah, definitely.
Adeel Ahmad [38:04]: Let's see more this really offline. But there was one there was one quip by the guy who's inventing so well, inventing is an extremely strong word. these or supposedly these noise canceling headphones that can that can filter out trigger sounds. and he when the when the author of the article rightfully like asked, like, you know, is this something that you think that you know people
Audrey [38:20]: Mm-hmm.
Adeel Ahmad [38:33]: Would really want, like or or what or or would like why would people want to use it? Or I forget what I was framed, but the the but the the the person framed it as well you you have GPS, you wouldn't not use GPS, right? And I just thought that that was the most that was one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, honestly.
Audrey [38:42]: Yeah. I don't agree. Yeah.
Adeel Ahmad [38:59]: if that person's listening. I framing it that way, that that is just such like superficial, stupid techno solutionism that is just doesn't doesn't even first of all doesn't even approach even wanting to think about what is the source, actual source, root cause of misophonia. And then framing it that way, basically gaslighting somebody for not wanting to use this particular tool that's not even
Audrey [39:08]: Mm-hmm.
Adeel Ahmad [39:29]: built yet, to just mask or not even mask, just remove like selective sounds. is just I thought it was ridiculous. And but I and I I just didn't I didn't hear that cr I didn't hear any criticism. Maybe I'm the only one. I didn't hear that criticism anywhere online. It was just like complete like everyone was just fawning over the article and so
Audrey [39:52]: No, I feel the same way. I thought it was like 'cause I have felt for so many years, I felt like a guinea pig. I was constantly being in good faith, but like, try this new product, try this new invention. I'm always like, okay, I get it, but none of this is working. None of this is helping. And I I still feel that way now. I think it's gotten a lot better as I've matured, but it i it can be very frustrating if you're like thrown something and you're like, this is not gonna solve it. This is a band-aid. I don't need a band-aid right now. yeah, so I thought I feel the same way. I thought that was a bit there's like, okay, that's not that's a very simplified
Adeel Ahmad [40:30]: There's an immature, snarky, arrogant, arrogant f is just like yeah, just kind of like a sh shiny techno solutionism. which yeah, I w I wish people but but you know that the just is it's the the state of our community unfortunately is very much people are and rightfully so are desperate f are confused and desperate for a solution and we're in a culture that is just
Audrey [40:33]: Yeah.
Adeel Ahmad [40:58]: Conditioned to look for and to offer quick fixes that just mask a deeper issue. Which the deeper issue might be there is something that we are pro we've individually become prone to being extra vigilant or extra sensitive to, which doesn't necessarily need to be thought of as a as a defect per se. so
Audrey [41:02]: Mm, absolutely.
Adeel Ahmad [41:28]: I don't know. That that was my that was one critique I had with that article. But I'm I'm I'm I appreciate that you were that you that you listened to that and let me let me get it off my chest. But but yeah, so I mean yeah, so that's that's amazing. And I hope you do more I hop yeah, I hope you get to do more opportunities to do writing and and express misophonia, explore misophonia and kind of related issues 'cause I think
Audrey [41:40]: Yeah.
Adeel Ahmad [41:56]: Rat yeah, I think more d deeper explorations as opposed to this GPS quip would be is is would be very welcome. And I think would help kind of let people understand the kind of more the different layers here. yeah, but I mean we're you we're getting we're getting yeah, g already around forty five minutes in. Anything else y kind of you you wanna share so that I can stop ranting on on random articles?
Audrey [42:05]: Yeah, thank you. Okay. Yeah, this is actually a more practical thing, and it is not to be hypocritical, but it is an invention. but it is like a vagus nerve massager. It's called True Vega, and I have been using it I started using it pretty offhandedly, but I've been using it consistently as they recommend for the past two weeks or so. And I really like it. I think
Adeel Ahmad [42:26]: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Audrey [42:49]: I there's a lot of research about how the vagus nerve in particular impacts misophonia and the physical massaging of it and relaxing of it. Not even with misophonia particularly, but like anxiety, general stress can just really lower those. And I really like it. I just two minutes in the morning, two minutes at night. It feels kinda funky, but it's not painful by any means. And yeah, it's one of those things that I tend to I've started to view as like, okay, it's not gonna fix everything, but if it can if it can make my day like one percent better, I'll do it. So I like that product.
Adeel Ahmad [43:25]: Yeah, I mean and that's that I mean that like like you said, that's tied to a lot of real physiological phenomena that happened that happened in the body. and so yeah, I think yeah, there's definitely something definitely something there. That's great. you know, I love to hear about yeah, I love to hear about these kinds of things that people are trying and and and's working for them. especially if it yeah, especially if it helps not just misophonia, 'cause I don't think these are the as you've
Audrey [43:34]: Yeah.
Adeel Ahmad [43:55]: probably figured out by now these things are not in silos. These are these are not completely separate. And so we just kinda ha happen to label a lot of them separately. But but that's great if it kind of helps I know a multitude of things that you're experiencing.
Audrey [44:12]: Mm-hmm.
Adeel Ahmad [44:14]: Well, very cool. Well well Audrey, no, this has been great. it flew by as it as it always does. But yeah, thanks aga thanks again for coming on and I hope we can yeah, keep in touch and hear about your your writings and other activities.
Audrey [44:19]: Mm-hmm. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. This is such a when I found this podcast, I was like, my god, finally. So I really appreciate what you're doing and just bringing this community together and bringing awareness to this. It's so important.
Adeel Ahmad [44:33]: Yeah. Awesome. And cut and that's kinda how I know.