Loading...
Loading...
Adeel [0:00]: go into it. Lauren and Eric, welcome to the podcast. Great to have you.
18513920 [0:07]: Thank you. Thank you.
Adeel [0:10]: Yeah, so I usually like to start kind of hearing about it kind of roughly where you're located, what you do.
18513920 [0:18]: Okay, well, I'm the miss miss a phone here. so I'll probably end up doing most of the talking. But we're very conscious of that. We're based in Los Angeles and we're both actors. And over time, my path has evolved more into filmmaking.
Adeel [0:21]: Okay. It's like he's going trigger. No, I kidding.
18513920 [0:46]: and writing and directing. And yeah, that's what we do. Do you have anything to add to that? No, that sums it up pretty well, I think.
Adeel [1:01]: Yeah, no, it's awesome. I mean, I just published an episode with somebody in LA who's trying to do a Misophonia short film. There's been a few over the past few years. I had a casting director who's in LA come on, another writer. So yeah, there's a nice little hotbed of interesting people over there.
18513920 [1:20]: Yes. Yeah. You you come across something like this and it's obviously, I don't, at least is from my point of view, not a mainstream topic. So it's interesting to find that there are pockets of people sharing in this, these sorts of things, but you think is more obscure than it actually is. Right. Well, I.
Adeel [1:36]: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
18513920 [1:49]: So I think that the way we found each other is we were promoting a short film that we were preparing to shoot that I wrote and based on our experience. Well, yeah, that's what I was going to say is that it just, you know, it's something that just sort of spilled out of me one day in the past year, I think it was that I wrote it. And then I continued to go back and, you know, rework it and so on. But It was about my experiences and it wasn't until then that I really became aware that there was a name for this. So, yes, yes. mean, I was, you know, having my experiences and and living with Misophonia, but I did not know that that's what it was called or, you know, that there were so many people that had similar experiences.
Adeel [2:27]: Mm-hmm. really? just in the past year? Yeah. So how did, yeah, I love to hear about the project and then kind of how that led to you finding out that it did have a name.
18513920 [2:53]: Yep. So, well, I can tell you that I have not always been, I have not always been saddled with misophonia. When, when I was a kid, I have no recollection of those sorts of experiences for myself at all. As a matter of fact, I have memories of an aunt that I was very close to, were just a few years apart in age, so we were more like buddies and she could not stand the sound of anyone chewing. And I remember thinking, not having a judgment on it, just being aware of it and being aware that I didn't have the same response that she did.
Adeel [3:42]: Around what age was that?
18513920 [3:44]: Um, that was probably, you know, like I was a tween, I would say, you know, 10, 11, 12, something like that. And I don't have any recollect specific recollections of my own experiences, um, until sometime in the last couple of decades, I would say, maybe the last 20 years, I'm, I'm 59. So.
Adeel [3:51]: Yeah. you
18513920 [4:13]: I don't know. I'm not really sure how it came to be. I can tell you that I have always been, you know, from the day I was born, highly, highly sensitive and empathic. And I also have, you know, I've heard some of your other guests talk about hypervigilance, which I also experience, but I don't have any trauma to speak of. And the only way that I've really been able to explain it is that because I am have been so empathic. This is almost embarrassing to say, I've said it out loud to people before, but it's like I experienced the trauma of others by witnessing it.
Adeel [5:08]: Mm-hmm.
18513920 [5:10]: And so I think that that's how that came about. And I don't know if the anxiety that comes from that has made way for misophonia in my life. I'm not really sure. But I have come to accept it and make friends with it and learn how to make it more tolerable for myself. And so... Actually, maybe I should let you speak to this after I talk about... My husband is very good at also finding a way as my partner to deal with my reactions to things. I mean, you know, he'll come sit next to me with some food and he's like, do you want to turn the TV on? Because he knows I'm gonna get irritated and he's not upset about it and he's not you know, he's just understanding He's understanding and I he doesn't experience misophonia, but he doesn't get upset with me You know that he has to make adjustments to make my life a little more pleasant And So anyway, as I said earlier this film idea just spilled out of me. And I said, we need to make this film. And it's a comedy. It's a comedy about misophonia. And what happens in the course of the film is this lead actress who is inspired, her character is inspired by my experiences. She gets to act out on all of the impulses she has as a result of the sounds that, you know, are driving her crazy. And so it's very personal, but it's also meant to be funny and fun because there are just things obviously that we can't, that are not socially acceptable, even though, you know, my response to
Adeel [7:09]: Yeah.
18513920 [7:30]: the few sounds that are the most challenging for me is anger. And so some of those things get to play out in our short film. for me, it's fun. It's fun to see this very talented actress playing this part say things that are and do things that are socially unacceptable.
Adeel [7:35]: Hmm.
18513920 [7:58]: you know, that we only maybe fantasize about and just, you know, get it out of your system.
Adeel [8:02]: She does it in real life or is it kind of like imagined?
18513920 [8:06]: Well, so the way I originally wrote it was that we would see her in each situation go bananas and then it would fast rewind and then we would see her do it as she really like that was just her fantasy and we just see her. But the way that I've ended up editing the film is it's what is real and what is an imagined response is left up to the viewer's discretion.
Adeel [8:21]: Yeah.
18513920 [8:37]: So it's a little ambiguous.
Adeel [8:40]: It'd be funny if it was the, well, first of all, sounds awful. I just had an idea where if something was backwards where something, a movie or a short film looks normal and then it rewinds and actually everyone was like dead at the end because the missaphone killed everybody and that was the reality. Anyways, but yeah. I don't know how many people would watch that.
18513920 [8:56]: you It doesn't go that far. That's a great idea though.
Adeel [9:07]: But so this is amazing. has this been shot and I guess what's the status of it? Yeah.
18513920 [9:13]: So yeah, so it's a short film. It was only a 10 page script and we shot it like less than a month ago actually, just a couple of days. And I've just finished editing it. I directed it and I did the edit and we are...
Adeel [9:26]: Hmm.
18513920 [9:39]: actually this coming week, handing it off to the post-production sound people, which is very exciting. Yes, because, you know, the sound is like another character in this film. It's very, very important. You know, I generally like to use music when I make a film to sort of help shape the tone. But there's no music in this one except
Adeel [9:46]: That's an important role. That's an important role for this movie. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
18513920 [10:08]: in the credits. It's all just the sound of what's happening in this woman's world. And I realized after the fact that people who experience misophonia might not like to watch this film because they're going to have to hear all of these sounds. But there is a reward that we get to live vicariously through her misdeeds.
Adeel [10:14]: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah, I'm looking forward to it. mean, once you know what's going to happen and yeah, it's a different experience. I guess, yeah, so what's your, so after that, like, do you have any plans for releasing it, festivals?
18513920 [10:38]: Yeah. So yeah, I have a first tier of festivals that I plan to submit it to. we have a pretty quick turnaround on this. So by the end of this month, we will have a finished product. So I will start submitting it and we'll see how it goes. Yes, we will.
Adeel [11:08]: Yeah, well, keep me posted. I mean, keep us posted. Yeah. Amazing.
18513920 [11:15]: So anyway, yeah, that's that's that it's called auditory problems. I probably should have mentioned that I should have mentioned that she this the main character, Lisa, goes to visit a therapist because she also does not know what's going on with her. She doesn't know the name misophonia. She just explains to this therapist all the things that are happening. And that's what leads us through the story in her day to day life.
Adeel [11:19]: yeah, okay. Yeah. So you called it auditory problems. that did you give it the name before you knew what misophonia was?
18513920 [11:46]: Anyway. I don't know. think that I think that when I had the idea to write the film, I did a little Googling first, and I think I discovered the the name Missifonia before I put it down on paper. I'm pretty sure I can't actually remember now. But, you know, but she says to the therapist, you know, I'm here because I'm having auditory problems. So.
Adeel [12:04]: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
18513920 [12:24]: That's where that came from.
Adeel [12:26]: Gotcha, and it was out of similar to your experience? Did you go to a therapist and say, okay, yeah.
18513920 [12:30]: I didn't, I didn't go to a therapist. I mean, it does mirror my experiences pretty closely, but it's obviously all exaggerated for the entertainment. But no, I again, remember that I just discovered it was a thing, you know, in the last year. but I have, I have become aware of the things that really help me and make it easier for me to tolerate the worst of the sounds for me. know, I, I, I know. You see how quiet.
Adeel [13:11]: Yeah. What are some of your, yeah, what is your, other than telling Eric to shut the hell up, what are your, could I? I know I was like, good boy, good boy Eric.
18513920 [13:27]: I'll be quiet soon. I want it. We need to hear from you. Very quiet. So the thing, probably the single thing that's the most useful to me. Well, there's probably two is I I do hot yoga.
Adeel [13:30]: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we'll get you in somewhere, token Eric statement.
18513920 [13:49]: And something about a regular hot yoga practice for me just sort of brings everything down a few notches. And I'm able to be just a little more chill about those things. But another thing is that I just need a break from stimulation. I've always been that way. And I just, you know, sometimes need to say, you know, everybody needs to, can you guys go do something? I need to silence. I need silence. need to stare at the wall for an hour and decompress. But those are probably the two main things. And then if if I am vigilant about making sure that I get proper sleep and I eat proper food, those things all really, really help me breathing or just removing myself from a situation, honestly, or or something that helps me is. If I can't remove myself from the situation is creating a noise that masks the noise that's bothering me.
Adeel [14:53]: mimicry, yeah, it's common coping mechanisms as well.
18513920 [14:59]: Yeah. Then as a couple, we, I'm sorry, go ahead.
Adeel [15:01]: yeah, yeah, no, no, no, you go here.
18513920 [15:05]: I was going to just jump in just so that I can. We know you were here. here. I'm here as a couple. Like, you know, I think probably the one of the strengths of our relationship is that we are very adamant about at least attempting to communicate as well as we possibly can as a couple. So, you know, that was I'm just going to speak on Lauren's behalf. Awful.
Adeel [15:08]: Yeah.
18513920 [15:34]: I think helpful just in terms of our relationship and the misophonia specifically, so that it does not eat us alive or become a thing where it's more of an issue than it necessarily needs to be. Right. Right. Because it's a
Adeel [15:47]: Mm-hmm. resentment and grudges and all that.
18513920 [16:00]: peculiar things, especially if you're not experiencing it, because like, for instance, you know, we're watching a movie as we're settling in for the night and, do you want some snacks? Yeah, sure. And then, you know, we get the snacks, which did, you know, offered. And then, you know, we proceed to eat those snacks because that's what's on the table, so to speak. And then either it's a package or it's a trap. It's a trap. Yeah.
Adeel [16:25]: trap.
18513920 [16:29]: Eat snacks. Yeah. I mean, it's clearly not, but, know, it kind of psychologically feels that way initially because, you know, from the outsider's perspective is like, bro, what do you mean? So, you know, it does take some walking through and some understanding to, you know, get to that place where
Adeel [16:38]: Right.
18513920 [16:59]: Like she had mentioned, there are mechanisms to soften this and, know, I'm whatever I can also do to help mitigate, any stressor. Right. And the other thing about that is, you know, it's because, you know, the nature of a part, you know, a marriage or a partnership like this is, you know, it's much more intimate. There's not like these social requirements. Like you can't, you can't say to that person, Can you please not chew so loudly like you can with your partner? So it's okay. You know, we have, it's just in, it's, easier because it's okay to say, you know, that noise is a little challenging for me or whatever, know, whatever it is where you wouldn't necessarily like say that to the person you're sitting next to on a subway or something.
Adeel [17:51]: Right, right. And Eric, did you always know that that Lauren had, quote unquote, audio auditory problems? Or was it something that developed during you, yeah.
18513920 [18:02]: Well, it kind of evolved, you know, kind of, as she said, just in terms of like identifying it specifically, but you know, it's shown itself in other ways because as she mentioned, you know, me and HSP and that sort of thing, you know, that's, a cousin of Mrs. Phonic, just in terms of your
Adeel [18:28]: Yo, yeah.
18513920 [18:31]: exterior stressors and things that affect you in a, you know, a deeper, highly, more highly sensitive way. So, you know, it's kind of evolved and, know, it also, as she mentioned, it was kind of like a aha moment to a degree, like, there's, you know, right. it identifying? vernacular for this so that, you know, it's like, that's the, mean, we were already, think doing fairly well managing it, but you know, it's just, it was just interesting doing the research with, for through the film and then starting to understand the other, the larger communities that are dealing with this, as well. yeah, I mean, it definitely has been, it's been apparent. in our existence together. But like you said, it didn't have, we didn't have a name for it. Like as you were talking about that, I remember it's probably been about 10 years ago. Remember you won't remember this, but I remember a specific incident. I was working with another woman in, you know, this small office, just the two of us. And I remember coming home and complaining to you one day after work because I was I was losing my mind because she had this snack. She had this bag of like dried mangoes. And I remember, and she was just like rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle. And in my brain, I was like, do you need me to come over there and take one of those out for you? Just take it out. What are you doing? You know, it just, it was like painful. And I remember going home and talking to you, Eric, about it.
Adeel [20:07]: you
18513920 [20:27]: like just how frustrating it was. And I, and it wasn't until later that I realized he probably didn't identify with that. I thought that that was annoying to everybody. And it took me, you know, a while to realize, no, that's just you, Lauren. He doesn't, he doesn't experience it that way.
Adeel [20:37]: you Yeah, and he's like, huh? Yeah. And so, this HSP, Lorne, you had that since as long as you remember. And then, you know, don't remember anything unusual. Well, maybe there was something unusual about, you know, from in the early years of Lorne. But guess what? I don't know. What experience did your parents have maybe growing up or in their lives?
18513920 [21:01]: Yes. Well, again, I'm 59 and so, you my parents are in their eighties now and culturally it was a little bit different upbringing. I can tell you that my father, when I was a child was, we had very different temperaments. I was, as I said, very sensitive. He didn't know what to do with a sensitive child. And he was, very from my perspective, he put a lot of pressure on me to, you know, excel and do things perfectly. And, he also, you know, he wasn't physical and he didn't yell at me a lot, but he would, he would get upset. And I think I was very frustrating to him. And, I think by most accounts, his, demeanor with me would be considered very normal. But to me, because of my sensitivity, it was like, you know, whenever my dad would raise his voice at me, it was like, you know, a sock to the gut. Yeah. So, you know, I mean, it's not necessarily his fault, but that's how I experienced it.
Adeel [22:45]: So you probably had to be... Yeah. And then, know, as a child, you're wanting to, probably developing a little bit of vigilance there. It's like, how do I, and not just to kind of, not just for your own sake, but I've thought about your child, your child's self who loves your dad is probably wanting to protect the dad's feeling. don't want him to, you know, fly off. So anyways.
18513920 [23:00]: 100%, yeah, 100%. Right. Yeah. Yes, I think that's probably true because, my sister is very, you know, my sister is hyper vigilant too. And it was just the two of us and she's, you know, fairly sensitive as well. And I'm sure it was just the dynamic between our different personalities that probably created some of that.
Adeel [23:38]: Yeah. And so you said you developed, and then you had this aunt who was like pretty close in age. Actually, have you talked to your aunt? mean, is she still with us? Have you talked to her about misophonia at all?
18513920 [23:45]: Mm-hmm. Yep. She is still with us, you know, I won't go into the details. She's what she's one of seven children and Something happened that I was not involved in but she is now estranged from the family So I I don't have contact with her anymore
Adeel [23:57]: Okay. Okay, gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha. And then, your misophonia, around when, and do you remember the circumstances around how it just kind of developed?
18513920 [24:22]: no, I don't. I don't. I mean, the-
Adeel [24:26]: Mm-hmm I mean, what, I guess what stage of life, I guess, we know where you win just the day you met Eric or,
18513920 [24:36]: It was probably. The day I met Eric and that was yeah, he walked in, crinkling a chip bag and. Irresistible. I don't know, you know.
Adeel [24:44]: you He's like, Lauren, can't get this mango out of this bag, can you?
18513920 [24:58]: I really don't, I really don't know because I think that to some degree I probably have always, you know, I don't know because I don't know where, you know, HSP ends and misophonia begins because if I go, you know, go back to like my twenties there, yeah, there are sounds that annoyed me. But was it just because I'm sensitive and I wanted it to be quiet? And incidentally, you know, I'm not
Adeel [25:11]: Yeah.
18513920 [25:27]: just super, you know, I don't have a strong need for silence. I mean, I need breaks with I need silence breaks. I can get overstimulated, but like that's not a trigger for me, you know, which but I'll tell you what I'll tell you. Things that are the biggest triggers for me are, as we just discussed, the rattling bags, any kind of rattling.
Adeel [25:35]: Yeah.
18513920 [25:57]: like a crinkling grocery bag, not a paper bag, but like a plastic bag or a chip bag or a food bag or a, you know, or and it's kind of a cousin to this or somebody in the countless times I've been in a room, let's say a waiting room for an audition and there's someone, you know, sitting across from me with a handbag and they're just rummaging and rummaging through their rummaging, rummaging. And I'm
Adeel [26:23]: Yeah.
18513920 [26:26]: And in my brain, I'm like, and this, is actually a scene. It's not an audition room. It's in an office. But this is a scene that I put into the film and it's my favorite scene in the whole piece. It's so gratifying for me. And also it's just funny. but, you know, it's just like, I'll be sitting there going, what? Like, why is it necessary?
Adeel [26:38]: Yeah.
18513920 [26:53]: to be rummaging around in your bag for five minutes. Like I could probably come over there and see everything in your bag if I just took one peek in there. What are you doing? You know, but I have memories of incidences like that. Again, go back at least a couple of decades, maybe farther, but yeah, I don't, I'm not really able to pinpoint when I had my first awareness of it.
Adeel [27:26]: Hey, that answer makes total sense to me. mean, you're right. mean, at HSP, Missifonia, I don't feel like a lot of these things are like, there's a boundary between them. think it's just, it's part of the human experience that we just happen to have added these labels, but I think in a few years, these labels might be not even relevant. So that's a great answer that I think a lot of people will relate with.
18513920 [27:37]: Right. Right. Right. Yeah, that's true. That's interesting.
Adeel [27:56]: So have you met any other folks along, I guess you just found out I had a name in the last year. I'm curious, in the course of doing the film and stuff, have you met other folks or have you thought back and been like, oh, that person also had mis-finance. Maybe I should, I don't know, see what they're up to.
18513920 [28:03]: Mm-hmm. Yes, yes to both of those questions. Yes, I have definitely encountered people, especially in talking about the film that have, you know, seen themselves. Yes, yes, I I'm so glad you're doing this. You know, me too, me too. And then and then if I think back, I can definitely come up with a few people in my life and remember their reactions to things and go, yeah. for sure that person, that person was going through this.
Adeel [28:47]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And you're, sorry, I jump around a lot, but I just remembered your, well, I guess, okay, did your parents know about misphonia? Have you kind of talked to them about, I don't know, this and our AHSP even?
18513920 [29:02]: Mm-hmm. Both of my parents who incidentally are, they have are long divorced and remarried. So I have a couple sets of parents and all of them are aware of my high sensitivity. We've had, it's hard not to be. And I will tell you that my father in his defense, we have had.
Adeel [29:15]: Mm-hmm. Okay, it's hard not to be aware it sounds like.
18513920 [29:33]: conversations about it as, you know, obviously I'm an adult, you know, many, years later, but about, you know, our experiences together. When I was a child with HSP and he's, he has, he's enlightened since then, you know, he understands it more. And, you know, he's even apologized to me for not really, you know, getting it or knowing what to do. And so, you know, there's been growth for both of us. But my I think that my mom is probably also to some degree, at least an HSP. And regarding the term misophonia, neither one of my parents or their my step parents had ever heard it either until we began working on the film.
Adeel [30:32]: you
18513920 [30:32]: And then they're like, well, okay. You know, they didn't really know that there was a name for it. So we've never had conversations about Misophonia Intel auditory problems.
Adeel [30:40]: Yeah. Yeah, and then as you're working on it, in LA, in the business, have you come across other folks in the business who are, don't know, misophone aware and have misophonia, yeah. I would imagine in the creative community, I it's gotta be a lot, I mean, we're all kind of a little bit emotionally aware.
18513920 [30:53]: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, yeah, because so many artists are, you know, highly sensitive. And as we mentioned earlier, you know, sometimes it's like, where does one begin in the other end? Yeah. We've had multiple people in our immediate circles who are also in the industry as well. Speak up and identify themselves as such.
Adeel [31:12]: Yeah. Yeah.
18513920 [31:33]: Yes, it did uncover some some stones here and there along the way.
Adeel [31:40]: Well, when this premieres, if it's premiering in LA at some point, I'll definitely go back through my interview Rolodex, because there was a number of people in LA, I'm sure, are miss phones who would love to come out and support. I'll fly down for that. That'd a great meetup. I'm way over in Minnesota. It's a very different climate and everything, yeah.
18513920 [31:55]: Yeah, that would be great. That would be great. Where are you located? you are. Okay. One of our actors in the. You do one of our actors who are in the film is from Minnesota as well. Who? Cedric. okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you, it's interesting. I mean, this really doesn't have anything to do with misophonia, except for the, the, the lead actress that, that we had play the role inspired by me.
Adeel [32:08]: We have a film festival somewhere, sometime, yeah, yeah. Hmm. That's fine.
18513920 [32:33]: Her name is Rochelle Meese and she's an actress that we've worked with before many years ago and she's very, she's just, she's very funny. She's got great timing, but she's not a missophone, but she did great with the part, but she, we had to have her because we knew she would just, you know, really bring the comedy to it. And I reached out to her. to see if she would be interested in doing the part. And she said, I would love to. I just moved to DC for law school. And so by some miracle, we were able to get her to come out here for a three day weekend in the middle of law school to shoot our film. So that was kind of funny. And also in the middle of our, that was during our
Adeel [33:13]: you
18513920 [33:31]: government shut down and flights were getting canceled and you know, there was a moment here where I was like I gotta be prepared if she doesn't I'm not gonna know until the day that she's cuz she was flying in on the day that we were gonna start shooting I said I have to be prepared to like fill this role if she doesn't make it which I really really did not want to do and I'm so glad I'm so glad that she made it but
Adeel [33:33]: Yeah. Yeah, amazing. So she just rolled in and three days, shot this short film and it's gone back to long, wow.
18513920 [34:01]: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she arrived on a like Friday morning at 12, you know, barely after midnight and shot that afternoon and then shot all the Saturday and then left on Sunday.
Adeel [34:20]: Well, it's good if she's coming out late, a little sleep deprived, you know, get that nervous system shot a little bit, so yeah.
18513920 [34:23]: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Adeel [34:28]: Nicely done. yeah, mean, speaking of outside of Misophonia, like, kind of other work do you guys do or just kind of like, what's your life like?
18513920 [34:43]: Go ahead, you answer. You know, LA is all, Los Angeles is always interesting. So why many of us like being here and everybody can complain about everything, the freeways and other things. But so yeah, we keep busy and in the industry itself,
Adeel [34:58]: You
18513920 [35:11]: You know, we audition regularly. I've, have a role that, in, for, this TV show sugar, with Colin Farrell on Apple TV is coming out here soon, I think. And, you know, we also work on our own projects and, commercials, commercials. Our youngest daughter is also a commercial actress. She's about to turn 11.
Adeel [35:40]: Hmm.
18513920 [35:41]: So we're always, we always have something going on around here. And I've turned to writing myself. I have a project I'm working on. taking a little while to get through. It's a personal project, but yeah, so we keep it busy on various fronts.
Adeel [35:46]: Yeah. Very nice, yeah. No, that sounds great. mean, yeah, a lot of different types of forms of expression. And that seems like a great artist, HSPLifestyle. Does that help? mean, does the act of creating and all these different types of artistic expressions kind of help you in, don't know, day-to-day dealing with misophonia or just HSPNess?
18513920 [36:11]: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Adeel [36:31]: Actually, that was a bad thing to say. HSP-ishness. A little Freudian there.
18513920 [36:32]: I that it does. I think that it does. You know, I don't know if it's a direct, if it's a direct response, but just the mere fact that, you know, the creation is fulfilling for me and thus lowers, you know, anxiety levels and you know, other things that can be contributors to, you know, how short my fuse is and that sort of thing. I can only imagine that it's useful.
Adeel [37:04]: Yeah, there's a school of Yeah, there's a school of thoughts beyond misophonia that just connecting with your authentic self is that whole integration is a way to signal to your body that things are safe and you're not under threat. And perhaps this misophonic or other kind of reaction is a signal to get back to that, to who you really are.
18513920 [37:16]: Mm-hmm. That makes total sense, yeah.
Adeel [37:37]: which kind of gets lost in late modernity and now I'm getting into philosophical stuff.
18513920 [37:38]: don't think you're... Yes. But I don't think you're wrong. I mean, I do think that so much of it, which is why, which is why, you know, having all of the other things in order that sort of open you up to just to be who you are, like, you know, because I'm very sensitive, if I don't eat properly. I have a reaction. have a physiological reaction. If I don't sleep properly, I have a physiological reaction where someone else might be like, yeah, big deal. I only slept however many hours. You know, my day is vastly different. And so I do think that, you know, maybe in a different world, in a different city, in a different culture, I don't know what, maybe I wouldn't experience these sounds this way.
Adeel [38:02]: Mm-hmm. right. or century. Yeah.
18513920 [38:31]: You know, maybe I would be so, you know, on such a relaxed Zen, you know, space that it wouldn't even matter to me. I have no idea.
Adeel [38:43]: Is your daughter aware of your misophonia?
18513920 [38:47]: My husband is smiling. Why don't you answer that? Yes, she is. She is well aware, but she too has, you know, learned to manage, you know, and be also sensitive and empathetic in that in that regard. So. So yeah, she's very she's very sweet. You know, I just today I can't remember what it was. I was I think I was working on editing and she was doing something sort of nearby and she was tapping her her pencil or something or she was I don't know what doing some kind of tapping like doing some drumming with her hands or something. And she's like she realized I was there. She's like, I'm sorry, Mom. Yeah.
Adeel [39:36]: And that's it, that's all, mean, you don't have to dwell on it or anything, it's just, yeah, yeah.
18513920 [39:40]: No. You know, it's an interesting, I'm going to say something is probably going to, as I tend to do from time to time, jump around to various topics within a short amount of sentences, kind of, sort of. You know, all these things, as you were mentioning, are systemic, you know, so they all, one thing affects the other. And I'm going to try and tie this into each of these two thoughts into each other.
Adeel [40:12]: Or not, don't worry about it.
18513920 [40:13]: or not, and it may not get there. But I, we've been in the industry for 20 plus years at this. And I've always said that it's, I think it's important for everyone to take acting classes, just because within this, you know, you
Adeel [40:16]: It's all good.
18513920 [40:41]: have the opportunity to explore other thought processes and things and research things, which you may not do under other circumstances and not to become an actor, but to relate better to yourself, relate better to other people, relate better to the world. So I think it makes you more aware and this is how I'm gonna attempt to tie this back in, is that, know, along the journey, you know, we have communicated it as partners. But the film also taps into that concept, that's kind of why I'm saying it, because you dive a little deeper. and you have a little bit more, a touch more empathy than you even have before, because you understand it at a little deeper level and you get to explore it in a more granular way so that you can, you know, have an awareness. And I think, you know, we live in a world right now that's very extreme to tell you. Yeah, pretty extreme. I don't know what's going on.
Adeel [41:55]: pretty chill. I dunno.
18513920 [42:03]: So there's a lot of extreme extremes in behaviors and mentalities. that sort of thing. I think, you know, having a little bit of taking the time to have a little empathy and dig a deep, dig a little deeper into or allow for a space for other people's, beings, energies, what they're dealing with, you know, just kind of, you know, bring elevates the, the energy of any room that you're in. So I'm going to agree with that. And disagree with that. I, I, I mean, I think you just, I, I, I agree with your, the concept of the self exploration through acting classes, but I think there are lots of other ways that people can achieve that besides just acting class, but as a, you know, a way for sure.
Adeel [42:44]: Ooh, a little extreme here.
18513920 [43:11]: We don't have to fight too much. Yeah. Yeah.
Adeel [43:12]: I'm going to agree with both. I'm going to agree with both because yeah, mean, obviously reading and art. But I was going to say, mean, Eric, it was a couple of years ago, year ago, I took a night, I'm an ava software engineer, the opposite of acting. But I took a acting class, like a night school class for four classes, because I've actually I've also had ideas for writing a play or a musical about Misphonia. I kind of want to see the other side of it. And in those four classes, I learned more about
18513920 [43:29]: Hey.
Adeel [43:42]: you know, the human condition than like any other, anything else. was like, whoa. Like, and I talked to a lot of psychologists and researchers, a lot of them are probably listening to this podcast right now. And what I learned from that teacher and those four classes was way more than any research paper I have read. And so, and yeah, so I want to, want to, you know, whether it's for empathy or whatever, but just to, just to.
18513920 [43:44]: Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
Adeel [44:11]: get back into that intellectual, philosophical, you know, thing that we lose when we leave, I know, high school. I think it's very important.
18513920 [44:20]: Sure. Well, and also for you as somebody who's interested in possibly creating something like that, it's very valuable. I think about conversations we've had where we can tell, we can tell when a director has acting experience or doesn't. And I feel that
Adeel [44:31]: Mm-hmm. What are some hints? was just out of curiosity.
18513920 [44:53]: Well, you can just tell by how well you can usually tell in the finished product also. But when you're like on set or witnessing them, you can tell by how they speak to an actor or you can tell that they understand the story in a different way. Or, you know, then there are directors who are just, you know, they're concerned about how beautiful the shot is and how technical it is. And look, we got this and we got that.
Adeel [45:19]: Hmm.
18513920 [45:22]: And sometimes they forget that the story is also, you you need to be able to communicate with these people over here who are telling your story. And if you've been, if you've been an actor or in an acting class, you are able to generally have a more effective communication with those people.
Adeel [45:32]: Yeah.
18513920 [45:48]: And it's interesting too, because, you they're there to do a job, but you know, there are other elements involved that are not linear. So, you know, an actor is a tool, but it's a human being and it's a feeling moving, changing human being. So, and you don't depending on who you're dealing with, you have to, think just have to have an understanding as a director that, you know, there's all types of people. So, you know, one actor may be able to take a more simplistic, rough direction. And then another one might need a little bit more creative way approach to, you know, get the best results. So, you know, I think it's just. Has yet. think that person just has to be aware through the deal with cause they're, you know, it's a human being as this, as the tool. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, you know, any kind of sort of cross cross-pollination of arts, I think, you know, feed each other.
Adeel [47:01]: Absolutely, I am, I am. just need to, yeah, I'm the kind of person where I need to get some of my day job stuff squared away so it doesn't stress me out and then I can focus on it. I will just get, mean, an HSP can't be stressed out about other stuff and then, you know.
18513920 [47:03]: So are you gonna write your film? Sure.
Adeel [47:31]: and then be in that contemplative state for long enough time to like get creative, at least me, or at least this is a story I'm telling myself and maybe it's just a, you know how it is with wannabe artists, is an ever-ending procrastination, probably trying to mask something that needs to come out, you know, that whole spiel. So yeah, I mean, I'm literally looking at Post-It notes that have been on my wall for years, a couple years now.
18513920 [47:35]: Sure. Yeah. You no.
Adeel [47:59]: I'm one of those people.
18513920 [48:01]: No, I feel that.
Adeel [48:05]: Um, but yeah, no, I will keep you guys posted. Maybe, maybe it's just something we need to, uh, I don't know. Maybe we have like a loose quarterly check in or something to kind of keep each other, or at least keep me for selfish reasons, kind of accountable to my little, uh, circle of miss a phones. Um,
18513920 [48:16]: Yeah. Sure. Yeah, we should definitely do that. Absolutely.
Adeel [48:27]: So, but good question, Eric. Yeah. And yeah, yeah, feel free to ask me that again. That made me think that made me stop and think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
18513920 [48:36]: We'll read, we'll circle back to you. Sometimes it's just a matter of, you know, starting, you know, just, you know, yes, a of things get in the way sometimes and you know, things life can like.
Adeel [48:46]: Yeah. I have a small essay series that is a little bit more, the topics are a bit more, and I feel like some essays, just to kind of get in and get out some ideas, these philosophical ideas, which I was kind of alluding to earlier, getting them out in a written form, I think will get the juices flowing. And then I'll come back to the more fictional things. I I already have, I even have music ideas for the kind of more...
18513920 [49:15]: Mm-hmm.
Adeel [49:24]: musical-ish side of it as well. But yeah, there's bits and pieces that need to be put together. Yes, yes. But honestly, and when I think about it, it completely reduces my HSB temperature. And so know it has to happen. It's just, anyways.
18513920 [49:29]: It's, it's It's fun to create. Yes. Yeah, it does. It does. But I will also you should just do it. You should just do it. Keep working on it. But I will also say that I completely understand the, know, having things in order around you just makes it easier.
Adeel [49:58]: So can I say something else about? Yeah, yeah. So there's that and not to turn out about me, but I don't know, because when you said like your dad put a lot of pressure on you, did you find that, you know, that self-critic come up a lot when you were growing up and or no. Okay. Cause that's for me growing up also in a religious household and all.
18513920 [50:14]: Um, oh, yes, 100%. He turned me, you know, that, not he, that ex- Right.
Adeel [50:24]: kind of stuff I turn into like everything I'm doing is not right like or it's like it's a waste of time I should say
18513920 [50:29]: Well... I became a perfectionist. And I think, and a little bit of a people pleaser and a perfectionist. And we all know that, you know, that there's no such thing. And that that's really just, you know, that that's not healthy. But I think that also that was my father's upbringing as well. And so that's, you know.
Adeel [50:38]: Maybe it'll people-please there a little bit too. Yeah. Hmm.
18513920 [51:02]: That's what happened. And I'm sure that with my older children, I've probably, you know, passed a little bit of that on. But I think I have evolved somewhat. It lingers. But I, know. Yeah, my. He. Yeah, he was very strict and I not strict. He just pushed me a lot. He expected a lot of me and also.
Adeel [51:26]: Yeah.
18513920 [51:29]: It was very hard for me when I was younger, but I can tell you that as an adult, I'm, I'm grateful for it to in large part because, what the positive part of that experience was that he instilled in me a belief in myself that I can't, that I can do whatever I want to do. You know, I, I don't have a, I
Adeel [51:50]: Mm-hmm.
18513920 [51:58]: didn't come into adulthood feeling like, I'm not capable of that. I'm not going to be able to, you know, of course I have feelings of self doubt, but he really instilled in me a confidence. Yeah. Because that's because that was part of, you know, what came along with him pushing me was that he, you know, thought I was, you know, he made me believe I was very
Adeel [52:12]: Go for it, yeah.
18513920 [52:27]: And not that I wasn't, but you know that I was highly intelligent and that I was very capable and you know he was also he was an athlete. Both of my parents were were teachers and sports coaches and so I was pushed academically, but I was also pushed in physically in sports and it was because he you know. I.
Adeel [52:37]: Mmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
18513920 [52:57]: of my own abilities but because he made me feel like I could. So while I never really felt like I was ever, you know, doing anything good enough, I still felt like I was capable of doing anything.
Adeel [53:13]: Yeah, yeah, interesting. And outside of sound sensitivity, auditory sensitivities, did you develop other sensory issues as well? the visual triggers, for example?
18513920 [53:30]: No, but I do have, don't know what you would call it, like physical sensitivities, know, on my skin, like things on my skin or, you know, yeah, that sort of thing.
Adeel [53:31]: Yeah. Mmm. Yeah, fabrics are just, yeah, yeah. Not uncommon with HSPs, obviously, and miss phones.
18513920 [53:58]: Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I have a very strong sense of smell. Yeah. So.
Adeel [54:07]: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And, you know, we're getting close to an hour, but yeah, I'd love to just hear about your coping methods day to day. it the usual headphones, earphones, leaving, punching?
18513920 [54:27]: Um, yeah, like just actually just, I mean, just today, I, again, just today, um, a couple of hours ago, we were in a different room and my husband was, I think, working on a script or something. He was sitting not far from me typing and I was sitting on my computer working on trying to figure something out. And I couldn't concentrate because of the typing and I'm sure to everyone else, it was normal. It sounded so loud to me that I just had I put headphones on. I didn't even have anything playing in them. I just had to cover my ears. just to dampen the sound a little bit. So yeah, whatever I do, whatever it takes, whatever it takes in the moment, it's not always the same. Yeah, and sometimes I just have to totally change what's happening. Another, I'm.
Adeel [55:13]: Yeah, yeah, Right, right. Right.
18513920 [55:29]: I went outside today, something was, sound was bothering me. I just got up and just went and sat outside away from, you know, any noises and just, you know, changing the energy.
Adeel [55:36]: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, No, and just having the knowledge that you can do that can just, that agency can kind of like calm things down a bit internally.
18513920 [55:53]: for sure. You know, I don't, I imagine it's probably much harder for people who, you know, I don't go to an office and work every day or, you know, but I'm sure that there are people who are in circumstances that they don't have as environments that they don't have as much control over. And I just can't even imagine.
Adeel [56:13]: Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Very interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's, yeah, getting closer now. I'd love to hear, I don't know, any other things you'd like to share? I would like to get at some point links to, if there are links to auditory sensitivities or, and obviously we'll stay in touch as that kind of makes its way around, but. Anything else you'd like to share, I guess, about your experiences individually or as a couple?
18513920 [56:50]: Eric?
Adeel [56:53]: Eric, we'll give you one of the last words here. This is your chance to...
18513920 [56:54]: yeah. Well, let me start off by getting some paper and crinkling it. So. No, we're very excited about this project and as we've discussed, you know, in terms of the misophonia community and identifying it, it, you know, we're hoping that. The film will come across cross as a. Something that can lighten the load a little bit and just, you know. Help other people gain a little bit more affinity for it as well so that, know. Couples and individuals alike can, you know, move through the universe in a in a better way. So, yeah, we're just excited about it and. You know, as I mentioned before, I... I like the exploration of the human condition in various ways. being in the acting field helps that. And being married to me helps that I provide a lot of opportunity. Lots of opportunities. Lots of opportunities. So, so yeah, we're just.
Adeel [58:19]: An interesting lens into that human condition, yes.
18513920 [58:30]: very much so looking forward to sharing this with everybody and hopefully, hopefully people enjoy it. Yeah. You bring up an interesting point that, you know, the film auditory problems is it, it is for me, one of the primary goals was just to be able to laugh at myself a little bit and hope that other people in the process will. You know, I'm kind of making fun of myself in this film. But in a kind hearted loving way, because, you know, life is messy and life is funny and it's all a little crazy. And, you know, I think we just get through it a little bit better if we're able to laugh at it sometimes. So that that was also part of the goal. We're hoping to inspire some other people who have.
Adeel [59:09]: you
18513920 [59:26]: projects on Post-its right now that they're ready to take to the next level. Absolutely.
Adeel [59:29]: Mm-hmm. wait. What? that's me. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know that's awesome. Yeah, I love that. And I think I will take you up. Expect a random email from me at some point in the next one to weeks with an update.
18513920 [59:43]: One day. Definitely will be happy to hear from you that day. Yes. So we don't have a website for for the project, but we do have a recently formed Instagram page, which is just it's at auditory problems.
Adeel [59:52]: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
18513920 [1:00]: And, yes. And, I have a tendency to post a little bit more on my own page, which is at Lauren LOR in W Davis. and we will be definitely, keeping everyone up to date. have, you know, things are about to start moving, so we'll have some news to put up there shortly.
Adeel [1:00]: Amazing. Yeah, I'm going to follow those if I'm not already. yeah, auditory problems and yeah, look for it. And I'll be sharing stuff about it. But yeah, this has been a fascinating conversation. And yeah, I wish you guys best of luck and let's definitely keep in touch.
18513920 [1:01]: Thank you. You're right. It did go by very fast. It's been great talking to you. Thank you so much for having us. Yeah, that's okay. Okay. Thank you so much.
Adeel [1:01]: No. Thank you, Lord and air. Yeah. and cut. I'll get that in. I'll get that in. I'll take myself out.
18513920 [1:01]: Hahaha